Miscellaneous: Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we...

By anonymous - 10/08/2011 04:31 - United States

Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 314

You deserved it 2 632

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 5 143

By Drill Drilled - 15/04/2015 22:12 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 410

You deserved it 3 977

Helicopter parents

By I apologize on behalf of my mother - 14/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was getting food at a buffet. Suddenly, my mom appeared and started screaming at a guy for pushing me. I wasn't pushed by anyone, I just tripped over nothing. The poor guy looked so confused and embarrassed, and my mom wouldn't let me defend him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 87

By JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 224

You deserved it 2 823

Get back here

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I was in the dressing room of my favorite store. While looking in the mirror at a shirt I really like, the fire alarm went off. In a panic, I ran out of the store like everyone else. The sensor went off on my shirt and I was banned from the store for attempted theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 639

You deserved it 4 820

By minustoenail - 12/10/2012 05:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 520

You deserved it 2 001

By Anonymous - 05/07/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 821

You deserved it 3 422

By SwimSquid - 15/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 578

You deserved it 8 096

By anonynomi - 19/11/2015 17:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 029

You deserved it 1 603

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 4 523

zaku2capt 1

Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:02

Damn sounds like she has fast reflexes.

johnnyknoxville 8

Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:03

Awesome parenting.

Comments

dartslinger 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 1:42

Your an idiot. It's called a grocery store. I'd have done it to

Millenium_fml 3

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:17

You're calling somebody an idiot when you use the wrong form of "Your"? HAHAHA FAIL!

chengy4191 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 7:36

No one cares get with the times -_-

kbt13 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 2:15

Move bitch get out the way!

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 11 August 2011 2:34

Hide and sneak off, let her think you were stolen or something

CausingChaos 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 3:30

What a BITCH

beklynnez 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:11

parenting tips for the future

purple91 8

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:11

Now that's maternal instincts.

SherryA 15

Thursday 11 August 2011 6:22

Lmao. Greaaaat mom you have. I only wish to have a mother like that.... Smh.

aaronisirish 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 6:27

Food store? Maybe grocery store??.....

missdani360 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 6:37

do not want to be next to her when a horde of zombies appear

softballchikk123 2

Thursday 11 August 2011 7:01

Lol I cracked up picturing this

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The Top

Today, I was ready to get intimate with my husband 7 months after giving birth to our son. He always made excuses as to why he couldn’t. Our marriage was on the rocks because of this, so when I sat him down to talk he admitted that to save this marriage I need to get a “tummy tuck” and a “breast lift.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 058

You deserved it 233

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 692

The Top

Today, I went on a date with a guy who is perfect in every way, except for the tiny fact he thinks Covid is a hoax created by hospitals to profit massively on selling masks and hand sanitiser. Both my parents died from Covid and my nana is currently in hospital with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 217

Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 988

Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 063

You deserved it 2 574

Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so that his mom couldn't hear anything. I'm 20 years old and I lost my virginity with Disney Channel blaring in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 534

You deserved it 23 167

Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 1 361

Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 845

Same thing different taste

Get a move on!

Helicopter parents

Get back here

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