Love: Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early...

By cantfallbackasleep - 22/10/2015 14:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 759

You deserved it 5 364

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By probablyfired - 25/07/2019 02:01

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 590

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 706

You deserved it 5 020

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 000

You deserved it 4 041

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 17:33 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 034

You deserved it 3 986

Red flags all over the place

By DumpedHisAss - 14/10/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 278

You deserved it 3 775

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 850

You deserved it 51 882

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 175

So you had a bad day…

By That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 118

Drunken lout

By whippingpost - 08/03/2020 04:56

Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 123

By wherefelix - 03/07/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 9 492

zilfy 17

Friday 23 October 2015 1:42

How can you even stand someone like this?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Friday 23 October 2015 1:44

Real respectful boyfriend you got there.

Comments

everybodysnerves 5

Friday 23 October 2015 4:53

dump him for prioritizing incorrectly... you deserve better sweetheart

dragoongirl90 34

Friday 23 October 2015 5:05

I hope you mean EX-boyfriend.

whateverFYL 6

Friday 23 October 2015 5:10

Then leave his ass

worldclassrager 39

Friday 23 October 2015 5:13

Search for your keys? Really?

thunderniron 22

Friday 23 October 2015 5:31

Rarely say ydi. But you put up with his sorry azz you deserve it.

LadyTyger51ne 8

Friday 23 October 2015 5:31

Tell him he needs to go search for another girlfriend

rvontr88 21

Friday 23 October 2015 5:39

Well behaved women seldom make history sister! Who cares what he says!

attitudenasty 8

Friday 23 October 2015 6:34

He sounds like a keeper.

fyvaprold 11

Friday 23 October 2015 6:34

DTMFA

pinkiepink 15

Friday 23 October 2015 7:19

wow those are SO #relationshipgoals

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 653

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

The Top

Today, I’ve been depressed lately and can’t get motivation to clean. My husband helped me clean, while he continued to complain how I should've done this while I was off work. My depression is from his meth use, dating websites, porn, and lying to me about it for 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 310

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 444

You deserved it 2 563

Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 199

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 129

You deserved it 1 016

Today, I cringed at a memory of 5-year-old me going to restaurants I was brought to and stealing tip money because I thought it was free. I got to watch a kid do the same thing to me. Oh, sweet karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 055

You deserved it 2 596

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 630

You deserved it 3 166