Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely...

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 18:32 - Norway

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 437

You deserved it 3 353

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Same thing different taste

Not lovin' it.

By Anonymous - 17/07/2018 01:30

Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 004

You deserved it 296

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 343

You deserved it 2 256

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 4 171

Dude, WTF?

By cman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 3 190

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 2 501

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 1 866

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 123

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 224

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 371

You deserved it 3 613

By goldenshower - 05/02/2010 18:22 - United States

Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 494

You deserved it 56 484

DrAwesome 6

Saturday 23 October 2010 0:15

Well, it seems to me that... *puts on sunglasses* ... urine trouble.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 23 October 2010 0:03

Well, just remember that it's better to be pissed off than... Oh, nevermind.

Comments

SMD_emilyy 1

Sunday 24 October 2010 6:59

Ydi for saying you were "having a leak".

wriptidez 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 9:52

pee on him back

bluekiwi_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 17:12

ydi for not locking the door :p

Mizzle95 0

Monday 25 October 2010 4:25

go to subway

FLASHOOM 0

Friday 8 April 2011 5:47

that's the new McDonalds slogan: Our hamburgers are so damn good they'll get you wasted!

shnipe 4

Sunday 22 May 2011 3:13

that what you get for eating at McDonalds

warriors32 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 4:35

All depends what kinda kicks u got

WickedFan 12

Monday 9 September 2013 13:17

The police are just wonderful

GraphicAustin 8

Thursday 12 December 2013 23:39

That's when the drunk guy conveniently "falls" and smacks his head on the side of the sink repeatedly for being a drunk asshole

Keywords

Annoying Gamers Video games Birthday Abuse Relatable Scams Money Social Media School Kids Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

The Top

Today, it was my first day as a server at Olive Garden and a customer walked out without paying. It was the new manager's first day too, and he decided to write me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 85

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 535

You deserved it 15 008

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 111

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 4 128

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 653

You deserved it 3 317

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 504

You deserved it 13 119