Health: Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 11:35 - United States - Imperial

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 326

You deserved it 27 960

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Same thing different taste

By Jess - 05/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 696

You deserved it 75 022

Busted!

By angela - 09/04/2020 23:00

Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 2 094

No escape

By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 304

You deserved it 203 335

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 10:48 - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 681

You deserved it 4 166

Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 61

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 6 960

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 5 231

STOP!

By Sammmmi - 22/06/2016 18:35 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 693

You deserved it 1 880

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 196

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 366

You deserved it 4 800

UnicornWine 22

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:50

Easiest game of hide and seek for them. Sorry for the rough night.

kitkatmeOw 8

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:51

Bet that party was a bushel of fun.

Comments

people_annoy_me 23

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:50

Well that was smart...

StupidMonkey497 16

Sunday 20 July 2014 7:05

I think this is where "think fast" comes in pretty handy...

Kamon97 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 9:46

Honestly I thought this fml would have way more YDI's

1dvs_bstd 41

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:50

If they take you to prison, don't drop the soap.

darwinism 30

Sunday 20 July 2014 0:00

The smirk on your face makes me think that you would like OP to drop the soap.

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 20 July 2014 0:11

#15 ha-ha-ha ho ho haha haaa! and i thought my jokes are bad..

shay_serendipity 29

Sunday 20 July 2014 2:34

Well, you thought right. #15 has some votes for his joke, while you, sir, are beginning to be downvoted into oblivion.

vairyhagina 11

Sunday 20 July 2014 2:43

Commenting anything on FML that isn't full of puns, really funny, a different opinion or correctly spelt gets you downvoted into oblivion

Godsofdracos 15

Sunday 20 July 2014 6:36

Pretty sure he's getting down voted into oblivion because he's joking about dropping the soap, not blowing up a city or a ferry. Stick to your usual material Joker, it just works for you :)

UnicornWine 22

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:50

Easiest game of hide and seek for them. Sorry for the rough night.

pjsr 32

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:59

You always make it worse when you run - it might've been a warning if you'd stayed put

kitkatmeOw 8

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:51

Bet that party was a bushel of fun.

people_annoy_me 23

Saturday 19 July 2014 23:51

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Sunday 20 July 2014 0:58

-ugh. As in *though*. Is it really that hard to type three more letters?

Garnetshaddow 30

Sunday 20 July 2014 3:19

Seriously... What is so bad about proper English?

ThatHorse 15

Sunday 20 July 2014 3:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 20 July 2014 3:47

Lets see.. #5 is missing the U, G and H.. looks like three letters to me.

people_annoy_me 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 10:09

Nope, I'm pretty sure it's three.

JBChristian 47

Sunday 20 July 2014 12:25

And I'm pretty sure #52 beat you to saying this about 7 hours prior.

people_annoy_me 23

Sunday 20 July 2014 20:20

Sorry my cousin sent this not me - he doesn't know how to spell and he was using my ipad...

PotatoPal 11

Monday 21 July 2014 0:04

Sure he was... we've all used that trick.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Monday 21 July 2014 1:08

Everyone who regrets a comment seems to conveniently have an illiterate cousin that is always borrowing electronic devices and using their relative's accounts instead of their own. Also, how did you know to come back here and check replies to your cousin's comments? Yeah. Your cousin. Right.....