Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend...

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 238

You deserved it 3 500

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Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 637

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 782

You deserved it 6 163

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 529

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 545

You deserved it 48 180

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 3 803

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 327

You deserved it 374

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 399

You deserved it 1 251

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 3 059

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 2 514

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

sunnyan 17

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:48

He's going to stick around for a long time

SuperKnuckels 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:48

owned. lol

Tavers 19

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:49

You know your a winner when your GF duct tapes you to the roof.

starfish7 18

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:53

He's talented! How did he manage to do that?

Julestjerne 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:55

Wow.. I laughed like crazy. EPIC scenario!

camkillacamcam 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:56

Haha that hilarious

phiend99 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 19:58

If there were a competition for best Post on here, this would be it.

glitterpoop 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:03

Sounds like the most interesting roleplay I've ever heard.

DalPozzo13 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:08

Kinky

Jazzgirl101 12

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:09

sorry but this just made my day

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Video games Geek Gamers Parents Family Kids AITA Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 154

You deserved it 68 069

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 432

The Top

Today, the county I live in is quarantined. My boss announced that, "We keep working until the government says they will shoot us if we leave the house.” We work in a call center. Not essential at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 001

You deserved it 223

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 860

You deserved it 30 947

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 965

You deserved it 3 862

Today, a couple approached me in Asda, saying they'd noticed how my wife treats me in public and asked if I felt safe to go home with her. She treats me worse at home it’s true, but this is the first time I realised I might be in an abusive relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 578

You deserved it 146

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 818

You deserved it 1 823

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument over whether Prince actually appeared in an episode of New Girl. He refused to believe me, saying it was "too weird". I had to find the specific episode to show him. He then said, "Are you sure that's really Prince?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 144

Same thing different taste

Collateral damage

Yuck.

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

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