Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend...

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 238

You deserved it 3 500

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Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 637

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 783

You deserved it 6 163

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 687

You deserved it 529

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 545

You deserved it 48 180

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 713

You deserved it 3 803

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 327

You deserved it 374

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 399

You deserved it 1 251

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 5 756

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 088

You deserved it 3 059

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 2 514

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

SammehDx 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:57

Lol what the hell?! How does that work? XD

celinetuttle 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:58

at least you know shes one step ahead of you...

scenebarbie123 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:07

How did that happen?

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:10

Your daughter sounds fun. Wake him up with breakfast in bondage!!! :D

xxshadiasaurxx 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 0:33

what kinda of stuff is ur daughter into??

Itachifangirl24 2

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:25

Now I wanna know what happened!

Klug_fml 7

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:25

Bozo strikes again!

faireanjell 5

Thursday 1 September 2011 3:34

ha ha! he must've been drunk and passed out .. what a great prank his friends pulled!

Jiagon 2

Thursday 1 September 2011 6:15

I would like to try this prank sometime. I'm still not quite sure how this in an FML. Maybe FML for the guy taped to the ceiling, but still...

dansco 24

Thursday 1 September 2011 7:52

Sounds like he had an interesting night... More FHL tbh...

Keywords

Love Gamers Video games Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Technology Parents Annoying Kids Animals Dogs Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Gun control Relatable Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 934

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 544

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 359

You deserved it 1 720

Today, I'm going through the first/worst heartbreak of my life, all while studying for med school finals. Every time I try to focus on studying, I see a flashback of his smile and I melt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 128

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 13 978

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 5 776

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information,then air out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 332

Same thing different taste

Collateral damage

Yuck.

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

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