Animals: Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 060

You deserved it 3 113

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Same thing different taste

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 560

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 642

You deserved it 1 562

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 5 429

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 6 050

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 997

You deserved it 70 931

By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 10 464

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 3 819

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 039

You deserved it 3 693

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 19:17 - Israel

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 619

You deserved it 5 198

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 4 380

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 March 2013 19:22

The funny thing is that the OP's daughter is 28.

Wiag 8

Tuesday 12 March 2013 19:22

some peoples children

Comments

needsagf14 12

Wednesday 13 March 2013 4:55

Some people...just suck

ViviMage 38

Wednesday 13 March 2013 7:09

Lemurs are pre-primates and not true monkeys.

Since1998 20

Wednesday 13 March 2013 14:34

looks like 10 changed his profile picture from what it was yesterday.

Blue_Bug 9

Thursday 14 March 2013 2:01

Wow!! :/

GetSomeM0 24

Thursday 14 March 2013 3:41

kids say the darndest things.

nvo 6

Thursday 14 March 2013 6:44

Say something back to her that rhymes - then anither rhyme - and another. It'll crack her up and soon she will have forgotten the phrase that started the game. Whatever you do, do NOT repeat "monkey *****" back to her (like "don't say ...") as it only teaches her the phrase even more.

BritSkits 22

Saturday 2 August 2014 17:41

You idiots don't know a thing about parenting. Take away her toys? No sweets for a month? Really? That's all fine and dandy unless she's under the age of six and doesn't understand the motive. it'll get you no where. If continues to say it, make it coear that tuere will be consequences. if she stioo says t, spank her. I'm not saying you have to beat the shiy out of her, but a quick swat on the butt won't hurt her, and It'll get your point across.