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Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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I think he was implying that maybe op didn't have a good relationship with his dad. They didn't see each other for five years because of that and probably don't have any good memories.

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same thing happened to me. We lived 3000 miles apart. I couldn't visit as often as I would have liked. Op doesn't say whe he hadn't seen his dad, just that it had been awhile. It just plain sucks & is sad.

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You don't make the rules on what is and is not insensitive. Grow a pair maybe? It's not like they said "lol 360 no scope wasted rekt". They don't know OP or OP's father enough to write a long paragraph.

By  pirup

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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I hate how people say that when someone is in a rough spot. " oh, you just lost all your money and house? don't worry, you're not the only one." doesn't make the situation or the sufferer any better.

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  mariri9206

#26 It's a way to show empathy. They're not saying "hey, that sucks but mine is worse." - they're saying "Happened to me, too, so I completely get and understand what you're going through. My deepest condolences." And I don't understand how the original comment is getting down voted while yours is getting thumbs up-ed. and to OP: My don't expect condolences on your loss. Any loss is tough but I can only imagine it's much harder and much worse when you haven't them in years. I hope you are able to move on from your pain and loss and think happy thoughts and remember good memories when you think of him.

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  ThatOneChick856

#48- The reason is because there's an appropriate time and place for everything, and considering not only OP's more-awful-than-usual situation in general but also the fact that he just recently experienced this makes that sort of thing an extremely assholish thing to say, even if it's meant well. Telling someone "you're not the only one with this problem" when they're still in the "shocked/still trying to grasp what the fuck this means for their life now" grieving stage is awful. This is the time when you let them spill all negative feelings and just shut the fuck up and listen because that's the only thing that will help at that time. Trying to forcefully nudge someone into the "coming to terms with it/I'm not alone with this problem so I know I can move on somehow eventually" stage before they're ready is just jerkish, and people like OP (and the FML commenters) have every right to disregard rude, unwarranted advice like this.

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I don't find it insulting at all but it really depends. If the intentions are good-natured and the person is genuinely trying to make the griever feel better, I don't see why you'd call that rude or uncalled for, unless you're so sad and angry that you won't listen to anyone, though it still doesn't make it rude in any way. If the person is just trying for the griever to get over it or pass it off as if it's not a big deal, then yeah, that is a rude and insensitive shithead. That's not the vibe I got from #4's comment, though.

I feel your loss. I never got to touch my fiancée once. While they're gone, at least we keep them alive in our memories. As cliché as it sounds, life is too short. Make the most out of every moment with the people you cherish. I wish you and everyone else that has ever experienced loss well.

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