Embarrassing, Dogs and Animals: Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob....

By budbunny13 - 30/06/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 681

You deserved it 63 992

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 394

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 775

You deserved it 298

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 648

You deserved it 7 399

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 930

You deserved it 7 319

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 22 036

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 949

You deserved it 3 233

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 189

You deserved it 5 239

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 552

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 116

By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 177

paigemosier 1

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

the ****

chimp4494 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

first time having a dog?

Comments

hightechlimos 3

Friday 1 July 2011 18:03

just when i thought nobody can be this stupid i stand corrected

FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29

Friday 1 July 2011 18:09

You are literally too stupid to insult.

bleedlikeagod 6

Friday 1 July 2011 18:10

please don't breed. That kind of stupidity shouldn't be passed on.

SlaveToRetail 10

Friday 1 July 2011 18:18

I wonder how many of these idiot moments YOU'VE had? As if you're so perfect.

bieberhole69 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:14

red rockets yumm

ROTFL_Kitty 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:22

wow you haven't had a dog before huh?

lupefiascosfan 4

Friday 1 July 2011 18:22

Punch your self.

superpacker85 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:42

nehhh whats up doc? (bugs bunny voice)

zacheimz 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:42

why were you looking at his dick? Dog Pedifile

acdc923 0

Friday 1 July 2011 18:45

You're such a stupid... No jk that's embarrassing

tamoodielovesmar 1

Friday 1 July 2011 18:54

i can only imagine.......its a boy! what! how cid that happpen?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Cops Weird Health Scary Stressed out Parents Embarrassing Transportation Cars Work Love My ex LGBTQIA+ First Dates Facebook Social Media Virginity Intimacy Sex Painful School Tinder Awkward Dating Coworkers AITA Jealousy Anxiety

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Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. It all was going fine until my mom asked aloud, "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied, "No." I'd actually been painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 4 300

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 621

You deserved it 6 968

The Top

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 326

You deserved it 3 829

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 481

You deserved it 4 204

Today, my dishes smelled so perfume-y after going through the dishwasher and a clean glass of water tasted soapy. I checked the pods my husband bought and loaded into the dishwasher to make sure we never got that brand again. They were laundry detergent pods. I was essentially a millennial eating a Tide Pod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 277

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 9 952

Today, I went on a blind date. As I waited for him in a pet-friendly mall, my friend said, "He's eccentric and has swag!" I didn't exactly know what she meant until I met him. He arrived with a miniature horse with a light pink coat and puffy fuchsia mane and tail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 349

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 47 169

Same thing different taste

Poor little guy

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