Holidays: Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my... - FML

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 3 956

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 3 588

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 01:30

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 943

You deserved it 447

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 3 341

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 933

You deserved it 1 259

By carr - 04/03/2011 16:25 - France

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 3 552

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 2 874

Left out

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 01:15 - Canada

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend, who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving, and I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 541

You deserved it 5 258

By Fuckup - 05/08/2013 18:09 - United States - Naples

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 10 571

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 168

You deserved it 2 821

Tight knit family

By Anonymous - 24/05/2010 17:12 - Canada

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 784

You deserved it 19 599

Next

Top comments

takanuva0123 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

You call those people friends?

hannahrawrr 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

Some friends you got there.

Comments

Friaza 29

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:13

YDI for not telling anybody you left for vacation.

kialuvsyoo 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:15

So you never mentioned that you were going on vacation in the first place? YDI.

PrimeStarscream 30

Tuesday 26 July 2011 3:45

LOL, your friends are awful.

agsilver 14

Tuesday 26 July 2011 3:55

huh, "friends"

martin26_fml 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 6:01

depends on the relation ship u guys have, for example if you all have a jobs that takes most of ur time and u can meet eachother only on weekends or just a few times per month, then that could be totally normal. If not.. then yea, get some nicer people to know..

mLsSfTw208 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:13

u my friend now be called a lowener

dreawlkr523 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:47

you should look into work as an assassin or something. perfect cover.

Jakeealdington 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 11:18

WOOOOOO :D i live in cheshire ;D

gigi03 5

Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:57

And you still call them friends

luvluvEgla 5

Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:17

oh wow some friends they r!

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The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 119

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 645

You deserved it 3 234

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 327

You deserved it 3 697

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 1 125

Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 400

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 502

You deserved it 25 300

Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 394

You deserved it 404