Holidays: Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my... - FML

By 88_OP - 25/07/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 458

You deserved it 3 956

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 3 588

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 01:30

Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 943

You deserved it 447

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 3 341

By Lonely626 - 16/06/2016 22:26

Today, while talking with a coworker, we discussed a weekend home invasion scenario. It was then that I realized my social circle is so non-existent, that my job would notice I'm gone before my friends would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 933

You deserved it 1 259

By carr - 04/03/2011 16:25 - France

Today, my mother noticed that I hadn't taken the trash out in a few weeks and angry, piled various full trash bags on my bed. I've been away on holiday for the past three weeks, I guess she didn't notice that part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 3 552

Wish you were here

By taylor124 - 22/08/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 2 874

Left out

By Anonymous - 12/06/2009 01:15 - Canada

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend, who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving, and I was the only one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 541

You deserved it 5 258

By Fuckup - 05/08/2013 18:09 - United States - Naples

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 10 571

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 23:55 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 168

You deserved it 2 821

Tight knit family

By Anonymous - 24/05/2010 17:12 - Canada

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They'd moved without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 784

You deserved it 19 599

Next

Top comments

takanuva0123 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

You call those people friends?

hannahrawrr 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:39

Some friends you got there.

Comments

Playful1985 9

Monday 25 July 2011 17:38

usually that happens when you travel a lot or don't keep in contact with people. I think my obsession with twitter started with a desire for people to know where I was if I went missing.

angelr00lz 3

Monday 25 July 2011 17:38

Story of my life.

dogpup4 23

Monday 25 July 2011 18:06

Things like this make me wonder why you didn't bother telling them you were going somewhere in the first place.

kaylapple 1

Monday 25 July 2011 18:06

get some new friends.

mizariXmoon 0

Monday 25 July 2011 18:50

it's sad to say that I know how you feel

this_effen_guy 1

Monday 25 July 2011 19:24

lol that's funny

okevin 0

Monday 25 July 2011 20:03

same thing happend to me :(

hoonyer 17

Monday 25 July 2011 21:09

Same her :'( this is what u do . . . (Q';')=0 (x_X)

IrishBoy508 1

Monday 25 July 2011 21:48

Maybey your dilusional and those friends of yours don't exsist and there in your head......wait if they were in your head they whould have noticed so nevermind theyre real

xbarbiexdollx20 5

Monday 25 July 2011 23:16

Some "friends" you got there, huh?

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The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 409

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

The Top

Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 574

You deserved it 1 134

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 245

You deserved it 10 810

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 081

You deserved it 4 276

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 902

You deserved it 22 535

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 685

You deserved it 18 554

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 172