Health: Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that... - FML

By Username - 03/05/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 228

You deserved it 34 431

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Same thing different taste

Strange metric

By Anonymous - 03/11/2020 01:57 - United States

Today, I decided that I need to lose weight when I discovered I could no longer chew on my own toenails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 506

Careless and carefree

By Anonymous - 12/08/2022 07:00 - Romania

Today, when I crossed the street, I almost died because of a careless driver, but when I crossed it again on my way back, I got hit by a bicycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 284

Boozehound

By sad fat drunk - 25/05/2020 05:00

Today, I realized that my one and only motivation to lose weight was the fact that it would take less alcohol to get me blitzed if I didn’t weigh as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 072

You deserved it 7 397

By anonymous - 25/07/2013 01:31 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 295

You deserved it 8 131

By CreeptacularBait - 27/05/2018 19:00

Today, after over a month of running to lose weight, I can’t walk without crying from the shooting pain in my legs. My husband is upset that I won’t go to the grocery store, make his lunch, or go hiking with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 520

You deserved it 812

By LadyJane - 13/01/2017 14:21

Today, I was trying to exercise more, so I went for a walk. I was quickly overtaken by a middle-aged lady with cankles, carrying heavy shopping bags in each hand. I'm 19, skinny, and apparently very unfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 827

You deserved it 2 553

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 182

By Lou - 01/06/2010 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 570

You deserved it 58 687

New day, same shit

By PickYourselfUp - 06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 901

You deserved it 8 654

Next

Top comments

griffin4 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 0:17

like the penguin. he too waddles

marijuanasmoker4 3

Wednesday 4 May 2011 0:22

You could gain more weight, and just roll across the crosswalk.

Comments

shutupYDI 4

Wednesday 4 May 2011 20:16

No one ever makes it in time. i weigh 50 kg and i always have to run just to make it to the other side.

mango260 9

Wednesday 4 May 2011 22:30

lols size one? is that skinny enough? :PP

burtonboarder199 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 23:36

it's okay. No one can(:

jose1760 1

Thursday 5 May 2011 8:06

I bet you make it in time if there is a Donut shop on the other side...

karmaplz 3

Thursday 5 May 2011 19:06

That's actually a fantastic reason to lose weight-- that is used as a scientific measurement in healthcare, if people can walk fast enough for community ambulation (i.e. able to cross the crosswalk in time!) :) Good job!

victorioustunnel 0

Thursday 5 May 2011 23:45

so???? WTF this isn't an fml at all go home

Mons_fml 27

Friday 6 May 2011 1:14

thats the spirit fatty! :D

maryrain 0

Friday 6 May 2011 2:42

sound like a good enough reason to me I mean, do you want to be hit by a car?!

HayHayMoose 0

Friday 6 May 2011 3:30

hahahaha. aww. that sucks.

kurlee 1

Saturday 7 May 2011 20:14

it's okay I'm almost the same way

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Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Exams Students Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

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You deserved it 97

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The Top

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You deserved it 4 612

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I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 213

Today, I just spent the last 3 years working on a research project and published about it, read by a multitude co-authors and proofreaders. My mum just spotted it has the word "asses" in it, instead of "assess". FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 243

Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 115

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 4 682

Today, the guy I like finally called to ask me to go grab a drink with him. I just moved six hours away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 1 294