wow, closed minded are we???

says the girl with a super slutty pic...

Oh yes, because switching back and forth between houses is SOOOOOOOO terrible. There's no need to be an asshole.

do you really not see how a divorce affects a kid? are you retarded or something? First off, the kid not having a permanent home is bad enough. The kid, the most innocent party of the situation, gets screwed. The kid pays the price of his/her parents' choice his/her whole life and didn't even do anything wrong. The kid wasn't even the one who made a shitty decision and that sucks entering the world...Happy Birthday! we've ruined your life!... Yeah, having divorced parents is VERY hard on a kid. In this case, the baby didn't even get to take his first breath without seeing a functional relationship. The kid will grow up thinking that divorce is ok, which it is NOT everyone. People don't mean it when they say for better or for worse. They only stick around for the better. Marriage is hard and you have to work at it to stay together. Marriage is designed to last a lifetime. Marrying someone is telling them you're in it FOR GOOD, not to see if it works out or not. That's what dating is designed for. Holy crap, grow up and commit to your CHOICES, people!

I was the child of divorced parents. My life was not ruined by it. I actually ENJOYED having two different houses. Two different worlds. It wasn't hard on me at all. GOING THROUGH a divorce is rough on children, but thankfully, in this case, the child doesn't have to witness that whole mess. It will be over and done with, probably before the child is born, and definitely before it starts forming real memories. I do not think divorce is a good thing. Honestly, I don't think one should get married, if they aren't going to honor that commitment fully. But it certainly isn't the end of the world either, nor does it ruin the life of the child. Oh and no, I'm not retarded, or anything even vaguely resembling it. Please calm down. I didn't mean to cause a fight.

my parents have been divorced since i was two and it really hasn't been that difficult on me. yes, i sometimes wish my parents were still married, but i've realized that they probably shouldn't have been together in the first place. just because some kids deal with it badly doesn't mean all of us do. plus my parents' divorce has taught me something: never go into a marriage unless you are absolutely positively sure you can stay with this person for life.

Actually, it all depends on how the parents act about it all. If they deal with it in an appropriate way, then the kids will turn out fine. It's if they act badly about the whole thing that it affects the kids in a negative way. Especially as sometimes if the parents stay together their attitude towards each other would affect the kids in a more negative way than if they split. You can't generalise on this, there are so many different outcomes and scenarios. However I do agree with you, Blacklily, that divorce should only be a final option, and all that. But sometimes it is the best option for all involved.

to the both of you, I'm glad it hasn't been hard on you guys, truly. That doesn't mean that it's easy on every kid. My heart goes out to the innocent kids who have NO CHANCE on witnessing a normal relationship where there isn't any step-_____. My boyfriend's parents divorced when he was 12 but before that he grew up with them fighting and yelling horrible things to each other. As a result, he thinks arguing regularly is normal and other things I'm not gonna get into. The only thing good that came out of his parents' divorce is that he WILL NOT get divorced himself.

(my previous post was in reply to #246 and 247) 254 My stance on divorce is that it is not an option. I think you should REALLY know the person you choose to marry through and through so that there are no surprises.

I realise that, Blacklily, I was adding my opinion to my agreement. I agree, you should really know the person you are marrying and everything, and be really commited to it. But sometimes it just doesn't work, for whatever reason, and I believe the option should be there for those who really have tried to make it work but it won't, or more serious circumstances.

I am sorry. I only replied because I thought you thought I saw divorce as a final option and I do not.

It's ok. But may I ask; do you not find any situation at all appropriate for it? Not even in really extreme examples?

Well, to be honest, if the spouse doesn't like how the marriage ended up, it is their own fault. Nobody forced that person to marry the other person. If a husband is beating his wife, he's abusive. And he probably always was. Someone just doesn't decide they're going to be abusive some 40 years into their life (unless of course some freak accident happened and injured their brain and they aren't the person they were before the accident, but still, the odds of them becoming an abusive person? not likely.) So shame on the unhappy person for not doing their homework on the person they married BEFORE they married them. So, they get what they deserve. I know that seems extreme of me but hey, know the person.

Fair enough, I think. However my line of thinking was that some people can be horrendously crafty, and wait till the right time before showing their true colours, eg not showing abusive/dominant behaviour until after being married.

why would someone do that? what would be the purpose?

Why do people do a lot of things? There isn't always an easy explanation, or even one that makes sense to anyone but the person who did it. However, my best guess in the scenario I outlined; to trap that person into the relationship/making it less likely that they'd leave.

that's some sick thinking. I'd think someone can tell if someone else is a psychopath......they'd get a vibe that something is "off" about them...

Some people are sick, it's an unfortunate part of reality. And you'd hope people would be able to pick up some sort of sense of it, but it's not always the case.

I still stand with my position. I mean, no one can keep their facade for 3 years. The real person they are would show through by then. They'd break long before 3 years.

I know that it's not easy on every child. My point was that it wasn't necessarily life-ruining. The way your first comments were worded made it seem like there was no hope for them to be happy, to have successful relationships, etc. I was simply pointing out that there is.

Out of idle curiosity, say a woman were to marry an abusive man, and somehow made peace with his abuse, and then later found out she was pregnant. In your opinion would it be okay to divorce at that point to protect the child, or should she stay with him and find other methods and take other steps to protect the child?