Intimacy: Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could...

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 290

You deserved it 5 906

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Same thing different taste

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 152

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 125

You deserved it 2 408

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 869

You deserved it 33 073

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 086

You deserved it 2 996

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 919

You deserved it 8 478

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 109

You deserved it 3 815

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 030

You deserved it 3 169

Nice place!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 021

You deserved it 3 408

Dude…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 012

You deserved it 905

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 558

56578 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:10

I think she said it to make you uncomfortable... Yeah, she may want to have a threesome, but the purpose of the comment was to tell you to not be so loud.... I must say though, if you were loud enough for her to hear you at night, without her hearing aids, you're either really pleasing your girlfriend or she's faking it in a big way. Hopefully, you're just really good in bed.

cucumberfabulous 7

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:03

That's uhhh.......kind of disturbing

Comments

athos1237 4

Sunday 9 August 2009 8:51

YDI for making up stories about your grandma wanting to have a threesome. Wouldn't have been a FML anyway. You'd be lucky if anyone suggested the threesome, but don't ring granny in the mix.

benshady 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 11:29

Why would you refuse? Granny sex is awsome!

youaresofucked 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 15:45

you all sicken me!

superkid 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 16:42

"well this is awkward..."

littlegoldwoman 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 17:13

Awww poor grandma. Shes probably at it than both of you. LOL

gothymama 0

Monday 10 August 2009 7:19

Ok #1, FYL because eww... grandma's asking for threesomes are nasty. #2 YDI because You live in an apartment, you've gotta keep it down! I heard my upstairs neighbors doing it all the time. It's annoying! They'd actually wake me up at night! It was horrible! I don't know if someone let them know they were being incredibly loud or what, because they seemed to have quieted down. That or they're losing that "spark"... Either way, I'm glad!!!

Marcus86 0

Monday 10 August 2009 8:03

Thats not so much an FML as it is just awkward.

n030992 0

Monday 10 August 2009 16:12

FYL coz that was weird but YDI becoz u were having sex when u have a neighbour who resembles ur grandma!

painandpeace 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:27

You shoulda went for it.

mr_weezydawg13 0

Thursday 13 August 2009 4:57

Jerk!!! You shoulda been done it why not give her some pleasure before she's close to dying? That's just rude respect ur elders when they want to butt **** YDI for not ******* her right there xD