Intimacy: Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could...

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 289

You deserved it 5 906

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Same thing different taste

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 3 152

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 123

You deserved it 2 408

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 869

You deserved it 33 072

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 084

You deserved it 2 996

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 918

You deserved it 8 478

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 108

You deserved it 3 815

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 030

You deserved it 3 169

Nice place!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 998

You deserved it 3 404

Dude…

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 18:00

Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 009

You deserved it 904

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 103

You deserved it 558

56578 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:10

I think she said it to make you uncomfortable... Yeah, she may want to have a threesome, but the purpose of the comment was to tell you to not be so loud.... I must say though, if you were loud enough for her to hear you at night, without her hearing aids, you're either really pleasing your girlfriend or she's faking it in a big way. Hopefully, you're just really good in bed.

cucumberfabulous 7

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:03

That's uhhh.......kind of disturbing

Comments

triplethreat13 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:14

yowza that'd be awkward!!! reminds me a little bit of the movie yes man, like where the old lady practically rapes him.

metheonlyb 17

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:18

That's exactly what i thought!!

Kiwi_Splash 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:16

Minnesota! Where I used to live... I have a feeling her name is Harriet.

actorkidrox 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:17

You won't be declining when she takes out those dentures and goes wild! Ew. I just grossed myself out. Sorry.

Chfanfiction 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:17

Ugh, I'm a guy and I hate the idea of ever doing a threesome. I personally don't see the appeal: if I'm ever lucky enough to have a girlfriend I'm not going to ruin it by having sex with someone else, even if it is at the same time. *Sigh* Apparently the internet thinks that's weird.

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:24

Nah, not so weird. Flip the coin; I'd never have a threesome with two guys either if I had a boyfriend, even if he was all about it.

razzumfrazzum 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 3:05

So would you have one with a guy and a girl, two girls, a girl and a cup, perhaps a dachshund and a elephant? I could keep going but its just gonna get weirder lol To the other guy though: Yes, the interwebz think you're weird. Not because you say you won't have a threesome (that is a bit odd though), but because you said if you're lucky enough to have a gf. Are you some type of hobbit or something? Just get out there and be yourself, whatever that is, I'm sure some girl will find you desirable (even if she is a fellow hobbit) :D

Chfanfiction 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 15:29

I don't really understand. Is it weird that I want a gf or that I wuldn't do it? How am I a hobbit?

razzumfrazzum 0

Monday 10 August 2009 1:24

Sigh.....I really don't want to explain that cuz it's not that hard to understand, but I said hobbit cuz of it's misanthropic or hermit like tendencies. Maybe hermit would have been a better term, not that I was directly calling you either of them though. I just meant that you made it seem as if you don't interact with other ppl when you said if you're lucky enough to get a gf, that's why that was weird. Getting a gf isn't that hard if you just make yourself noticeable. You understand why the other is weird.