Kids: Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we...

By Rae - 30/07/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 445

You deserved it 4 480

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 688

You deserved it 3 975

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 4 542

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 036

You deserved it 239

Call CPS

By lyss - 16/02/2014 22:44 - United States - Pottsville

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 375

You deserved it 49 867

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 943

You deserved it 3 272

By :,< - 17/09/2012 17:16 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 412

You deserved it 2 603

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 632

You deserved it 3 118

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 420

You deserved it 10 376

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 097

You deserved it 1 867

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 2 585

donutboy 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:17

"Wanna ride my mommy's new penis?" XD

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:11

Gotta love children's pronunciations. :o

Comments

LiamOFlaherty 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 15:19

FYL For having a Prius.

beastwill64 16

Tuesday 10 April 2012 4:37

Damn Toyotas. You should have gotten an Audi.

ThatFunnyGy 2

Monday 18 February 2013 14:20

Stfu

b_l_u69 8

Friday 23 January 2015 6:22

well... I mean you kinda asked for it by driving a Prius!

tuxedoandex 28

Thursday 16 April 2015 3:08

don't feel bad, it's okay to be transautomobile. don't let autophobes get to you

FrostyyFML 15

Thursday 10 September 2015 5:16

That's what you get for driving a Prius.

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Geek Gamers Video games Kids AITA Parents Family Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Health Abuse Social Media Scams Mysterious Miscellaneous Friends School Education Anger issues

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Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 95

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 608

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 168

You deserved it 57 744

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 251

You deserved it 2 413

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 799

You deserved it 47 897

Today, I had a 10-hour shift that started at 5 a.m. We can't leave until relief comes and we don't get paid for overtime if our relief is late. The good news is my relief came early. The bad news is he went on a smoke break and never came back. They want me to stay until we close and I'm the only cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 849

You deserved it 770

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 781

You deserved it 3 863

Today, my mother-in-law insisted my wife and I name our unborn son “Aladdin” She thinks the name is perfect and will “match well because it’s an Arabian name” and “Aren’t you Arabian?” I’m Egyptian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 102

Same thing different taste

Mystery man

True

Call CPS

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