Kids: Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 14:35 - Taiwan

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 4 542

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Same thing different taste

By McMuffin - 26/05/2017 14:00

Today, my 3-year-old daughter ran with arms wide open towards me, smiling, only to pass me by and hug the gardener instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 260

You deserved it 560

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 124

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 039

You deserved it 3 693

The worst

By mommylovesu - 15/03/2011 02:25 - United States

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there, she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 169

You deserved it 43 767

By tatortot7707 - 13/01/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 001

You deserved it 3 813

By divorced - 07/03/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I said to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said, "Mommy, I don't want to leave." She wasn't talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 088

You deserved it 10 446

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 708

You deserved it 5 756

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 255

You deserved it 3 284

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 187

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 796

You deserved it 804

Next

Top comments

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:57

Is your face as scary as mine?

perdix 29

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.

Comments

eskimomarvin 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:56

lol that sucks

Marvin_Android 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:57

Sounds nightmarish. Trying to form a bond with your offspring is pointless anyway. In a few short years, she will want to be off on her own and run away just as fiercely. The fact that she hates and fears you already should make it easier on you in the long-run; no sudden shock when she goes from lovey-dovey to rebellious and hateful. At least now you won't waste your efforts. Too bad you'll still suffer through a miserable existence. Life. Don't talk to me about life.

Jaguars25 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:02

Oh Marvin. I enjoy reading what you write. it's terrible of me to take pleasure in your woe, but I always look forward to your contributions. (Have you read Warbot in Accounting? Reminds me of you.) Re. FML: Maybe the giant fur coat did the trick? Poor you!

fakeaccountX 6

Friday 17 December 2010 0:40

it's going to be a long 18 years

atlanta_lex 0

Friday 7 October 2011 1:51

I doubt it's THAT serious.

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:57

Is your face as scary as mine?

Selena_is_back 7

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

you're not scary... ;D I find you attractive... Rawr!

DahkLohd 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:46

Thanks, but I wouldn't want to "Julian Assange" you. Hit me up in a year and a half. :)

Selena_is_back 7

Thursday 16 December 2010 20:12

I can wait... *evil laugh*

zazooftanzania 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:50

haha good one

millionaire93 0

Saturday 18 December 2010 4:11

ahaha. that's funny.

cono1717 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:01

STRANGER DANGER!!

kubleeka 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 23:25

mom is a stranger now, is she?

macskapingvin 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:05

Maybe she can't tell the difference between your 'I'm going to hug you' face and your 'I'm a big scary giant I'm going to chase you' face.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:06

Maybe you shouldn't have dressed up like Jason Voorhies, dumbass. You should have learned your lesson from the Halloween Freddy Krueger incident. Some people...

CoolAsian 0

Friday 17 December 2010 0:47

Voorhees dumbass

MEM0817 18

Friday 17 December 2010 8:20

CoolAsian I'm sure you didn't even know the correct spelling until you googled it.

DakotaCat 4

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:06

Don't wear a Noseybonk mask if you're gunna pick up your kid from preschool.

perdix 29

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:09

They probably taught the kids about pedophiles and your little game is up.

DncrHap 9

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:13

stranger danger! pedobear wants you to try harder.

MfailK 0

Friday 17 December 2010 13:35

you are so pretty.

Korro 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:15

are you sure that was your daughter?

veebs 0

Friday 17 December 2010 6:07

HAHA FUNNY(:

dirtyhose 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 19:23

st0p beating you're kid and this w0nt happen duh

Keywords

Love Stalker Instagram Social Media Animals Embarrassing Ironic Phobias Spiders Health Bikes Transportation Ecology Drunk AITA Work Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek Vacation Mysterious Weird Video games Gamers Gross First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids

The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 735

You deserved it 1 428

The Top

Today, my washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, and laptop all stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 165

Today, it has been eight years since I politely declined a date with a "nice guy." How have I kept track of it this long? He has been stalking and harassing me since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 240

You deserved it 355

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 588

You deserved it 9 793

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 863

You deserved it 5 559

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 386

You deserved it 7 652

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 567

You deserved it 3 777