Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five...

By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 5 774

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Same thing different taste

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 5 211

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 079

You deserved it 21 070

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 447

You deserved it 2 928

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 277

You deserved it 9 081

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 4 651

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 255

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 28/02/2010 11:16 - Canada

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him… but I can hear him in the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 2 605

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 3 490

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 303

You deserved it 2 712

By madisonbubch - 23/09/2014 01:04 - United States - Vine Grove

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 3 070

chevygirl23 17

Friday 10 January 2014 16:47

Call animal control

Trym 7

Friday 10 January 2014 16:50

Hiss back! Display your dominance!

Comments

Toast7 6

Friday 10 January 2014 18:46

A metal shovel usually does the trick

Toast7 6

Friday 10 January 2014 19:29

Aww c'mon guys, stop taking me seriously

Toast7 6

Friday 10 January 2014 19:44

But seriously the last time I encountered this problem, my dad's solution was to chase it away using a large stick.

tj4234 35

Friday 10 January 2014 18:51

no they don't. Also, windows are classed as an exit.

Ihavegas 22

Friday 10 January 2014 19:04

spray can and a lighter

Omniprism 14

Friday 10 January 2014 19:21

Bug spray.

Kristoffer 35

Friday 10 January 2014 19:24

WTF just call Animal Control.

Kainen 2

Friday 10 January 2014 19:32

I'll be HAPPY to come "take care" of your problem. Just tells where you life.

Epikouros 31

Friday 10 January 2014 20:00

... and there's the redneck from #31.

cassey_lea 15

Friday 10 January 2014 19:33

call the police

pickleOnABun 10

Friday 10 January 2014 19:33

SHOOT THEM! BAM. PROBLEM SOLVED.

alexmedina_cx 6

Friday 10 January 2014 19:35

Hiss back

menfearme 10

Friday 10 January 2014 19:44

Raccoons are super smart. Do not give them food!! They'll be back every day. Call animal control. When thats done animal proof your place. Theres something out there that they are after. Garbage can, maybe?