Health: Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine...

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

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Same thing different taste

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

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You deserved it 76

Help!

By 2for1 - 28/03/2019 00:00 - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

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You deserved it 159

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

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You deserved it 2 805

Ouch or ouch?

By chronic - 12/03/2017 02:00

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 933

You deserved it 482

By Anonymous - 11/09/2016 05:52 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 218

You deserved it 1 081

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 574

You deserved it 3 516

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

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You deserved it 4 592

Hot lava

By bubba7901 - 19/03/2021 10:59

Today, I stopped taking prescription narcotics for pain, which make you constipated. I also enjoyed a few beers. Because of this collaboration, I had a very painful first turd followed by a flow of burning liquid. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 317

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 772

You deserved it 4 420

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

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You deserved it 163

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 4 April 2012 16:04

+1 for describing it as "small child wrapped in barbed wire". I think that really adds to the imagery

kiran_fml 5

Wednesday 4 April 2012 15:59

Maybe you should ask for an alternate medicine if they offer it.

Comments

Honeydall 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 20:58

poor u! find a pain reliever without codeine in it. also get yourself a laxative and some prune juice too!

danaleann78 16

Wednesday 4 April 2012 21:05

Haaaa I totally understand this just had Colin surgery myself!! Took 18 inches of colon!! So I am having to use stool softners and maloxx.

LuckyTroll 6

Wednesday 4 April 2012 21:16

Idiotic comment

ShyAnn29 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 21:21

I've had my entire colon removed, so I know how much that hurts, don't strain yourself to much!

AnimalLover1031 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:01

Ouch I could feel that pain you went through just buy reading it.

TurdFurgeson04 3

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:04

I've been there my friend. It will feel like you have birthed triplets when it's finally over.

kevinn95 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 22:05

Dont eat just dinking nothing but blended vegetables and water the whole day will make it a lot easier and it cleans out ur system at the same time which is a plus