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By Terri-Lynn - / Wednesday 30 May 2012 20:25 / Canada - Calgary
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By  DocBastard  |  38

The pain of an anal fissure is said to feel like shitting shards of glass. Sounds like the loudest screams will be coming from your bathroom rather than from your nursery.

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  43trauts  |  14

Yeah, a shitty situation if you ask me.

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  ilovesuju  |  10

No

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  NeatNit  |  32

YDI. Your doctor warned you, you have no excuse for not doing as he said.

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  StoryOfTheYear  |  13

"Hi, I can make a bad pun that's been used at least a million times. Just watch me." Do people actually find shit jokes funny anymore? What's the thought process.

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  primadonna9396  |  16

THANK YOU. Ask anyone with Crohn's, colitis, IBS, some eating disorders, or even someone who uses opiates... Sometimes all the laxatives, suppositories or Kaopectate in the world can't exert control over your colon.

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  blcksocks  |  19

Beastiality?

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  evilplatypus  |  35

37 - lol, you are weird (in a good way). As for the grammar nazi, I took a class on sexual deviance in pop culture, once. When we were studying Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, the prof got so sick of everyone spelling "bestiality" incorrectly that she told us to remember this to help us: "Sex with animals is the BEST!" Also, I find it interesting that you're (incorrectly) correcting people when your profile implies you don't like grammar nazis.

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  blcksocks  |  19

Damnit.. Does that mean I've been searching for porn by typing the wrong spelling this whole time? . . Even with the wrong spelling I get a million results. This kitten is not the only one that's messed up haha.

By  DocBastard  |  38

The pain of an anal fissure is said to feel like shitting shards of glass. Sounds like the loudest screams will be coming from your bathroom rather than from your nursery.

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  Pentium_4  |  26

R.I.P. OP's toilet

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  DocBastard  |  38

Igive - An anal fissure is a year of the skin surrounding the anus. It's thought to be caused by an overactive external anal sphincter, and it usually heals spontaneously if stool softeners and topical medicines are used. Occasionally Botox is used to relax the muscle and allow it to heal, and surgery is a measure of last resort.

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  plaguer  |  26

If OP's fissures aren't that bad, soaking in warm water in either Epsom salt or baby shampoo will help heal them faster. And they don't look that bad, just like small paper cuts.

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  NyappyCat  |  12

Despite the level of pain, I feel a YDI is in order due to not taking your doctors advice seriously. Especially after having a baby. Gotta take care of yourself for your familys' sake :)

By  Webslinger66  |  10

That's how I was born. ;)

By  tjv3  |  9

Comment moderated or buried due to negative votes. Show the comment

By  Roflsauruz  |  12

People have it worse, you know! Be lucky it's just that! :) TMI moment: I have IBS and I usually go through severe constipation for one to two weeks (no BM at all), followed by one to two weeks of diarrhea and/or painful (in my gut, I mean) BMs. I get anal fissures all the time - so much so that I CONSTANTLY have one that never heals. And yes, I have given birth, so I know what it feels like lol... A burning ass hole is nothing compared to childbirth! :P But anyway, good luck with that. Get a stool softener and don'tsweat it.

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I have basically the same thing. Runs in my family. Sucks. Makes life extremely difficult too. Never know when you'll be able to go on a long car ride or watch a movie or even eat without pain in general. Although the pain may be due to my lack of a gallbladder. Not sure.

By  shawnaishere  |  14

Comment moderated or buried due to negative votes. Show the comment

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  Il_Maestro  |  6

52/53- It looks like you just agreed with yourself and my first thought was Multiple Personalities Disorder. Shut up, don't post that, it's rude! You don't know how many FMLers actually have that!

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  bonermonkey  |  31

you usually have to work them out yourself with stool softeners etc while they heal :( and hope you don't reopen it while its healing :s good luck OP! weetabix and plenty of fluids :P

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