Health: Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of...

By bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 268

You deserved it 14 166

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Same thing different taste

By mk - 20/06/2009 05:47 - Canada

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 409

You deserved it 13 428

By idiot - 24/01/2013 19:53 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 563

You deserved it 40 289

By SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda - 02/07/2016 02:37 - United States

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 849

You deserved it 987

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 245

You deserved it 5 501

By Clutz - 25/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 418

You deserved it 35 879

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 160

You deserved it 2 927

Bizarre topping

By Grossed out - 10/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was eating an ice cream on a sidewalk and some woman decided it was time to clip her toenails on her balcony above me. One of the nail shards fell onto my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 93

By manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 500

You deserved it 78 559

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 913

You deserved it 28 330

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 29 683

joooeee 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:16

which lips?!?!

PrincessesCrown 17

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:35

Put some ice on it. Wait! Maybe not.

Comments

kewlone645 8

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:42

wow. you're so smart :)

gemzroxya 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:44

Owwtchh! You poor thing!

Lorynia 4

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:47

Ouch. FYL

sheethapins 13

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:52

Put some ice on it you'll be fine

KatrinaKitten 16

Sunday 15 May 2011 0:52

All I want to know is how.

suprmidgt 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:09

no shit. frozen dry on warm and wet sticks. same reason Flick had such an issue with the flag pole.

avocado23 5

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:12

I did that with a popsicle once.

pashdyla 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:18

Also if you put salt on your arm then put an ice cube on the salt. It doesn't rip off skin, it just burns you.

jemama 1

Sunday 15 May 2011 12:59

is it wrong that I want to try this?

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:27

Sex hurts sometimes.

BellaMarta 19

Sunday 15 May 2011 1:30

Didn't you learn anything from the movie, A Christmas Story?

KatrinaKitten 16

Sunday 15 May 2011 2:20

What's the point of taking a mirror picture if the camera's going to cover your entire face?

Keywords

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Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 167

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 586

You deserved it 245

The Top

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 682

You deserved it 5 910

Today, I asked my son about girls and stuff and he told me he’s probably never going to date. I asked him why, and it turns out he’s afraid of being sent to jail if she makes any sort of false allegation against him. I told him not all women are like that, he told me I’m either naive or lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 251

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 182

You deserved it 194

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 069

Today, I have to fill in a (now former) co-worker's shifts for the next few weeks. She took two of those shady energy pills and downed them with root beer during her shift, causing her to pass out, and landing her in the hospital. Why do we sell these things, and why haven't they been outlawed? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 76

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 049

You deserved it 1 142

Same thing different taste

Bizarre topping

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