Miscellaneous: Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured... - FML

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 35 947

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By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 173

You deserved it 54 736

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 11 165

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 6 589

Gotcha good

By fuck you, dad - 08/02/2014 20:54 - United States - Bellflower

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 827

You deserved it 18 654

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 568

You deserved it 31 050

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 2 810

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 5 478

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 114

You deserved it 30 387

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 377

Next

Top comments

chili10 18

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:06

What a sweet father/son relationship.

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:17

He poured milk all over his son? Such actions are, in my opinion, legendairy.

Comments

RinnaRae22 8

Thursday 5 January 2012 17:12

Haha. You asked for it.

graphicstyle7 17

Thursday 5 January 2012 17:21

Don't provoke old people. We are cranky.

hateevryone 14

Thursday 5 January 2012 17:25

that should tell you how mature he is.

courtneeymac 4

Thursday 5 January 2012 17:28

Well that will teach you now won't it ?

Yukii007 1

Thursday 5 January 2012 20:15

Stupid if you do something to make someone mad there's gonna be a worse reaction. Common sense

FaraPjJammaz 13

Thursday 5 January 2012 21:49

This FML reminds me of the times when my dad jokingly drives right by me after school so i have to run after him instead of stopping and picking me up. Then I jokingly tell him that I'll leave him in a nursing home when he's old. But that's okay cause I'm just joking, dad T_T

XoDEMONCHYLDE007 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 22:16

57 i get casein is a part of milk very clever. Im lol at that.

l000babyseals 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 22:40

What made you think that would end well?

abbybailey204 19

Thursday 5 January 2012 22:43

That sounds like something my dad would do

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 5 January 2012 22:52

Haha. Jokes!

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The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 855

The Top

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 3 274

Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 284

Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 139

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 639

You deserved it 47 028

Today, it's been a week since I hired a 17 year-old guy to work at my store. Three of his friends decided to come in today and "prank" him by all three taking a shit in one toilet and clog it. The toilet overflowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 84

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 195

You deserved it 51 046