Miscellaneous: Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured... - FML

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 35 947

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By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 173

You deserved it 54 736

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 817

You deserved it 11 165

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 072

You deserved it 6 589

Gotcha good

By fuck you, dad - 08/02/2014 20:54 - United States - Bellflower

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 827

You deserved it 18 654

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 568

You deserved it 31 050

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 2 810

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By not gay in AL - 11/05/2014 17:57 - United States

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 381

You deserved it 5 478

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 114

You deserved it 30 387

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 377

Next

Top comments

chili10 18

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:06

What a sweet father/son relationship.

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Thursday 5 January 2012 12:17

He poured milk all over his son? Such actions are, in my opinion, legendairy.

Comments

EZE210 0

Thursday 5 January 2012 23:28

Its ok my girl friends dad did the same think to me

ibebrandy 4

Thursday 5 January 2012 23:37

Waste of milk!

Stahrgeyzer 8

Friday 6 January 2012 0:17

I don see how this is a FML. Milk baths nurture your skin; gets rid of dead skin, black heads, and makes your skin a lot smoother. If anything you should be thanking him.

skateraid112 2

Friday 6 January 2012 0:45

lmaoo milk ...i poured it down my bros pants

96154371 0

Friday 6 January 2012 1:00

Lol ur punny

Stahrgeyzer 8

Friday 6 January 2012 1:14

I don't see how this is a FML. Milk baths nurture your skin; gets rid of dead skin, blackheads, and makes your skin a lot smoother. If anything you should be thanking him.

lizliz23 0

Friday 6 January 2012 5:35

thts kinda harsh, but u still deserved it

dorky_lette 5

Friday 6 January 2012 5:46

and thats why you should never mess with yoyr elders

deequu 20

Friday 6 January 2012 6:26

Ha. Mid life crisis for your dad. What a joke.

ksandoval567 0

Friday 6 January 2012 7:43

I didn't expect his comeback to my mockery to be a shower of milk.

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The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 381

You deserved it 4 153

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 240

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 585

You deserved it 6 737

Today, I received a late Christmas present from my estranged father. I was really excited, having neither seen nor heard from him in nearly two years. It was a $200 gift card for a store that only exists in Canada. I don't live in Canada. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 720

You deserved it 3 999

Today, I was eating at my aunt's place with all my cousins and the salad had little green and alive bugs. I didn't want to cause attention, so I tried to pick some off and just kept eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 702

Today, I discovered that apparently my six-year-old daughter actually believes that the United States is the only country with advanced technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 431

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 618

You deserved it 1 719

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 190

You deserved it 5 902