Work: Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my...

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 424

You deserved it 4 245

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Same thing different taste

By waitingformyfoodstamps - 24/01/2009 10:50 - United States

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 105

You deserved it 8 387

Forwarded

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 263

You deserved it 7 749

By nojob - 07/05/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 139

You deserved it 4 457

By babyfatt - 16/12/2009 08:23 - Australia

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 606

You deserved it 27 211

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 907

You deserved it 7 780

By Jobless - 13/08/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 972

You deserved it 4 348

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 960

You deserved it 308

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 736

You deserved it 32 273

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 747

You deserved it 4 491

By I'm a joke? - 30/05/2013 05:37

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 638

You deserved it 4 180

ohjoy15 33

Friday 27 March 2015 16:51

Proofread. Can never do it too many times.

cutycat136 28

Friday 27 March 2015 16:53

Make him stand on the side of the road with a big sign that reads 'I messed up my girls resumes and wrote on them that she had a dick. I am the dick'

Comments

fmlsams 27

Friday 27 March 2015 21:33

This is why you always proofread. ALWAYS.

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Friday 27 March 2015 21:46

Doesn't he know a resúmè is the one thing you should never mess with?

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Friday 27 March 2015 21:52

Résumé*

WintersChild 12

Friday 27 March 2015 21:48

Dump his ass

Drosophila82 18

Friday 27 March 2015 21:58

How can some people be so insensitive!

2retz 11

Friday 27 March 2015 22:00

wow, way to have your back and support you in getting a job. well done bf, you're officially a@#$%. best of luck op.

danihammer 4

Friday 27 March 2015 23:51

I would punch him in the face. You're supposed to help your partner succeed and progress in life, not hold them back. This was immature but also kind of malicious imo. What is wrong with that asshole?

MeltedMango 8

Saturday 28 March 2015 0:08

Seriously though, your boyfriend sounds ridiculously immature and unsupportive. Breaking up just might be a good thing.

The_Skittish_One 27

Saturday 28 March 2015 1:11

Regardless of whether you proofread your resume enough, it was still a terrible thing for him to do. Sabotaging people's job prospects is disgusting and not a joke. Jobs can be really hard to find even if you apply everywhere; luck can play a big enough part, no need to screw up your partner's chances even more! I hope that you can find a job, OP. Best of luck.

rickAUS 22

Saturday 28 March 2015 23:17

Even for people with years of experience it can be pretty rough. The vacancies to job seekers in Australia is about 1:7 on average. Some industries are worse than others. Given that OP was resume dropping I'm guessing this is for job #1 which is harder still. @OP: use Seek and LinkedIn. Even if is is your first job, faster and easier to get applications done. Edit: the job I started 4 months ago had over 200 applicants, just for example :-/