Work: Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective...

By Silver_Samurai - 09/02/2012 03:24 - Netherlands

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 707

You deserved it 10 501

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Same thing different taste

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 821

You deserved it 2 953

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 983

By dr mamour - 30/01/2013 21:57 - France - Paris

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 066

You deserved it 4 084

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 988

You deserved it 5 042

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 307

You deserved it 4 438

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 187

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 113

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 488

You deserved it 12 936

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 127

You deserved it 5 823

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 17:18 - United States

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 214

You deserved it 2 977

NiiTeH 7

Thursday 9 February 2012 8:45

The best way to greet a patient.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Thursday 9 February 2012 8:46

Theres no way that couldve been awkward.

Comments

Fisahgurl 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 17:35

Gotta love a nurse who's honest with the patent :) haha FYL tho

ilove80smetal 8

Thursday 9 February 2012 17:37

Wow you don't waste time do you?

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:00

You should be the honey badger's nurse, because honey badger doesn't give a shit.

ForeverAloneGal 23

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:40

It's blunt. I like your style.

ERIKER 11

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:53

When I read your name I already knew that you had to be a Dutchie like me ;)

music87 14

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:17

LOL this made me laugh too hard. Hahaha

CharliesCool2084 8

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:19

How did you manage that?

ryanf395 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:36

1st fml that literally made me lol in age!!! That is legendary

ohai12 6

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:45

And they replied...?

PaigeySlade 7

Friday 10 February 2012 2:29

They replied by ******** their pants because he was so blunt about it

upsidedownfrownn 5

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:53

Sounds like something that should be on a house episode

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 46 016

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 164

You deserved it 2 246

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 567

You deserved it 6 691

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 424

You deserved it 3 894

Today, I went to fix my porch light. I have called maintenance multiple times about it, but I finally decided to just fix it myself. There was a wasps' nest in the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 108

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 237

You deserved it 36 234

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 038

You deserved it 5 480