Miscellaneous: Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster.... - FML

By grrrrrr - 19/02/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 052

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wtfdaughter - 03/02/2015 16:59 - Brazil - Recife

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 509

You deserved it 4 825

They'll have anyone these days

By Anonymous - 13/04/2021 23:00

Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 03:01 - United States - Fremont

Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 262

You deserved it 1 947

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 312

You deserved it 5 170

By Kitten - 06/09/2018 03:30

Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 799

You deserved it 387

Whole foods

By anonymous - 06/03/2016 05:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 297

You deserved it 3 557

I'll make my own way

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 413

How in hell…?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 16:12 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 020

You deserved it 5 269

How very dare you?

By 1357katie - 19/09/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 6 276

Next

Top comments

ClaireXX 0

Friday 19 February 2010 16:07

I think that's like when people are really intelligent academically but lack some common sense...

Juggalette_623 9

Friday 19 February 2010 16:10

.....Must resist the urge to put play doh in the toaster >.>

Comments

starfckr730 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:58

that, good sir, is absolutely ******* BRILLIANT! oh... OH the joys i could have had tormenting my mother when i was 17... HAHAH! play doh in the toaster wouldve been a welcomed issue! you're daughter's insanity has made my day! just dont tell my son!

pixie1000 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 7:58

Half a mind to say YDI just because I'm still waiting for my Columbia letter. :) But seriously, it's just a toaster. I don't have one and I get by.

mclostthankgod 1

Saturday 20 February 2010 8:00

next time you breed. create a retard with common sense, not a genius who's a tard.

cdilink 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 9:02

oh SO SMART

chadtvu 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 9:42

today, I got bored and put play doh in the toaster. my parents grounded me and called me dumb. i also got accepted for early admissions to columbia. MLIA

jay_man33 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:06

There's street smarts, book smarts...and then...your daughter. Good luck!

makhead 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 17:34

i wish this was on mlia.

craigkid 2

Saturday 20 February 2010 19:47

Your daughter wins epicly . I do wonder what would happen though ... i'm off to buy play-doh

lokiitababii69 19

Saturday 20 February 2010 22:26

lmfao u now just taught me about another one of these websites?!?!?! ahahaha mylifeisaverage.com

leadrunner751 3

Sunday 21 February 2010 2:38

curiosity got the daughter grounded... we all have a little 10 year-old retard in us

3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relationship advice Relatable Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Education Public freakouts Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 184

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before, but they usually leave early. I heard someone in the kitchen and, thinking it was my brother, I said, "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma then responded, "No, we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 496

You deserved it 74 251

The Top

Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 337

You deserved it 928

Today, I went to the mall with two friends. A modelling scout approached us and asked both of my friends if they were interested in modelling. When the scout finally noticed me, she asked if I was their mom. We're all the same age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 98

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 760

You deserved it 10 410

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 506

Today, my mother pointed out to me how much my fiancé looks like my brother. She's right. I never noticed before, but now I can't unsee it. I don't think I'll ever be able to touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 757

You deserved it 520

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 2 690