Intimacy: Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt...

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 935

You deserved it 10 641

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Same thing different taste

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 890

Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 4 602

Hott

By purple - 24/03/2012 05:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 373

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 5 532

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 281

RIP Beard

By captain patch beard - 03/10/2019 18:01

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 418

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 011

You deserved it 18 779

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 393

You deserved it 5 231

Are you experienced?

By Brax - 30/05/2012 09:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 247

You deserved it 9 418

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 092

You deserved it 13 413

shadowgamer_x 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:05

What a hairy situation. At least this wasn't in pubelic!

Althenias 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:04

try shaving, problem solved

Comments

SL33PY_13 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:08

haha

ibhim 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:08

Did she at least finish?

megapeyt 17

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:09

Tough break dude You'll live. At least she's willing so quit your whining

lemonkittens 8

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:11

Lying is bad for the soul. But FYL.bat least she didn't do it on purpose.

Jesus_Christ69 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:50

Or maybe she did ..? :o MINDFUCK

mcr22dnb 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 21:58

Yaaay another person who likes ADTR :D

jeanaj 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 20:25

I love adtr!

Malkria 1

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:11

Ouch! ?(????)?

skatingalyy 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 20:12

are you trying to tell us something with those question marks? please, enlighten me. xD

zombicidal 11

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:11

any fml that has I got a handjob in it probably isn't an fml

ollie179 21

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:11

*Sob Sob* What's the matter? *sniff* it's...just so good!

syfool 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:12

Hilarious, I can picture you crying haha

whatgoescomes 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:14

Wow that suckess

Cesarbmg 2

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:15

Hahaha. Thats funny.

MissBunnyWillEat 11

Sunday 4 September 2011 19:59

*plucks pube hairs out one by one with tweezers* hahaha, oh, oh, my, this is funny! ahaha. ahahh...haha..ahh..

Keywords

Motherhood Health Awkward Money Transportation Dentist Sadness Lonely Abuse Work Nepotism Relatable Ironic Parents Miscellaneous Birthday AITA Food Virginity Love Intimacy Sex OCD Mental health Housework Cute Cleaning Creepy Argument Kids

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Same thing different taste

Nasty

Traumatized knob

Hott

Frustrated wank

RIP Beard

Are you experienced?

Girl boss

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