Health: Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 490

You deserved it 1 356

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 702

You deserved it 3 646

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 3 722

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 3 349

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 069

You deserved it 2 028

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 115

By muddled - 02/05/2012 06:16 - United States - Joliet

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 901

You deserved it 5 133

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 182

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 2 117

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 06:25 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 3 239

Next

Top comments

ihartmytdi 23

Monday 29 February 2016 0:39

Time to introduce them to a stray watermelon.

pixierara 28

Monday 29 February 2016 0:35

Have you talked to the parents about it? That's very odd to say the least.

Comments

Tigers___333 3

Monday 29 February 2016 20:14

I think you meant "burning passion fruit".

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 29 February 2016 21:13

Go to the 99 cent store and pelt them with fruit.

EvilLittleMan 23

Tuesday 1 March 2016 3:22

You live in the grand state of Tennessee so hit them with a stray empty bottle of Jack.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 1 March 2016 4:41

Maybe they were expecting you to go all fruit ninja on the cantaloupe instead of hitting you with them.

Kuryree 2

Tuesday 1 March 2016 16:20

sounds like a game of ultimate cantaloupe lol

slidingglassdoor 10

Tuesday 1 March 2016 17:48

This reminds me of something from Malcom in the Middle

shadowwolf656 8

Tuesday 1 March 2016 20:10

had something like that happen when I was babysitting my nephews one time I hopped the fence after I made sure my nephew was alright and scared the living piss out of the kids that did it

Jimsey 3

Thursday 3 March 2016 8:38

I have a potato launcher....? P.S. you should make one, it's fun

Sliver1991 26

Monday 7 March 2016 12:23

Hate him with a burning passion... fruit!

nikkolaus 15

Wednesday 16 March 2016 9:19

Sue for assault.

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The Top

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 646

You deserved it 3 615

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

The Top

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 013

You deserved it 3 128

Today, to avoid disappointing my excited great grandmother, I still attended a small family dinner to celebrate my engagement. My fiancé and I split last night, I haven't slept and had to tell her he was caught up at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 923

You deserved it 2 139

Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 884

Today, I realised that my flight back from Berlin was actually booked for the 29th of September instead of August. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 508

You deserved it 27 141

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 579

You deserved it 4 885

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 015

You deserved it 7 786