Health: Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to... - FML

By anon - 21/06/2014 12:50 - United States - Edison

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 917

You deserved it 4 859

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Same thing different taste

Work anxiety

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 08:00

Today, I got hit by a car walking to work. My first thought wasn't to call 911 or my husband, but to call work to let them know I wouldn't be able to make it in for my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 98

By julichlove - 28/12/2014 00:52 - United States - Louisville

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 797

You deserved it 40 364

My turn

By Crazy In-Laws - 20/11/2016 22:54 - United States - Danvers

Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 622

You deserved it 704

By Crashed - 01/01/2014 18:21 - United States - Evans

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 464

You deserved it 5 341

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 42 481

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 148

Thanks, guys

By Sophie - 27/12/2011 04:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 2 474

Bad omen

By KaRaBeAr24 - 16/03/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I got hit and totaled my new car, on my way to get married, with my fiancé and kids in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 00:31

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 636

You deserved it 2 068

By screwed - 29/05/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 839

You deserved it 3 030

Next

Top comments

Vidrill 22

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:48

At least you were close to a hospital?

mistertbawk420 10

Saturday 21 June 2014 19:48

That is the very definition of irony. At least you two can share a room now

Comments

Greg1986 13

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:43

Look out!

FaithMay123 4

Saturday 21 June 2014 22:55

Aw that's sad :( x

titankitty 8

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:10

so romantic

soldier084 11

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:16

didnt your parents teach you to look before crossing?

JuanJavierRamos 5

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:21

at least you get to stay in the hospital with her

ariel11563 4

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:23

Karma has struck

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 23 June 2014 1:25

More like Empathy.

GDragonsSwag 21

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:28

Oh, the irony >.

yoursucklives 36

Saturday 21 June 2014 23:29

actually, #55, inception is the idea of inserting an idea or something into someones mind. not a dream within a dream. i know it's used differently in these jokes, though.

cjwayy 22

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:01

They say bad things happen in threes. I'd stay away from cars for awhile if I were you.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 22 June 2014 0:03

Hope you're not too banged up...maybe you two can now share a room

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The Top

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, jumping over the stiles in the Paris subway, I caught my shin on the turnstile. I put my hands out reflexively to avoid busting my face on the ground, but ended up suspended upside down from the metal bars. A kid took a photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 450

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 779

You deserved it 491

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 553

You deserved it 2 446

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 916

You deserved it 3 320

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets the same amount of entertainment out of tickling me and having sex with me, and he likes the tickling noises better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 869

You deserved it 7 341

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 924

You deserved it 29 005