Health: Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working,...

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 01:51 - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 413

You deserved it 3 805

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Same thing different taste

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 76

Drained

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 23:01

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 107

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 118

States of matter

By Nirah - 26/07/2019 21:00 - Canada - Parksville

Today, I'm a week into a prescription of extremely constipating antibiotics. I also just caught the stomach bug going around at work that causes aggressive diarrhea. The two combined mean I have a constant, slow-moving stream of thick, foul-smelling sludge coming out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 161

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 17:56 - Philippines - Dasmarinas

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 523

You deserved it 3 159

Help!

By 2for1 - 28/03/2019 00:00 - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 158

Healthy lifestyle tips

By middleagednurse - 04/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 4 086

By Ali - 17/04/2019 02:00

Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation for a colonoscopy, I puked the half gallon of laxative. Out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 224

By blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 288

You deserved it 54 660

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 058

You deserved it 4 592

SirEBC 7

Wednesday 19 January 2011 9:12

People get colonoscopies all of the time. Big deal.

FYLDeep 25

Wednesday 19 January 2011 9:11

When doctors get to the bottom of things, they quite literally get to the bottom of them.

Comments

greycellgreen 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:14

Colonoscopy....sucks, but could save your life.

tara0927 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:16

Yeah and it's not that uncommon. I've had it too, and it's by far not the worse thing that you could have to go through. Suck it up. It's not a big deal.

DakotaCat 4

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:25

And then you'll throw toilet paper at arachnids! Amirite?

theflyingtaco 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:28

Fowl tasting? As in tastes like chicken?

ulicksam 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:40

Eventually, everyone gets them. Try again.

d_j140 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:50

them colonoscopies do suck lol

Rick_S 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 13:51

Been there. Didn't have to do the goo, but I did have to give myself a suppository, and an enema.

fat_snooki_lol 6

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:04

Big deal. My gf had one last week and didn't whine like you. Harden up.

droplets 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:06

foul, not fowl.

hawkeyes486 3

Wednesday 19 January 2011 14:15

I agree with everyone else's comments and can't believe this was published. FML's should really be funny/ironic stories that could have been prevented, not something that is a daily occurance every where. If you didn't get a colonoscopy now, you'd get one later down the road. Everyone should. And I agree with cocktailpeanut, my mom also had an ostomy procedure where they remove the entire large intestine - now THAT is something worth complaining about.