Kids: Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use... - FML

By Sadmom - 14/09/2016 02:15 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 1 426

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 477

You deserved it 5 780

Bad boys, bad boys, what ya gonna do?

By Joel Lee Burgess - 15/02/2021 22:59 - United States

Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 354

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 458

You deserved it 5 669

By Hmmmm - 20/09/2012 14:58 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 593

You deserved it 2 911

By Tabby - 06/08/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 593

You deserved it 3 855

By kindgartin - 23/04/2011 09:26 - Canada

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 611

You deserved it 8 342

Terrible troll

By ShitStirringSon - 15/08/2013 02:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 100

You deserved it 7 269

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 13:12 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 171

You deserved it 2 611

Your kid is a boffin

By Toby's.Mom. - 16/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I heard my son use the word "exacerbated". I had to look it up to see if he had correctly used it, which he had, because I couldn't remember what it meant. I'll be 23 next week. He's not even 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 918

You deserved it 2 990

America, hell yeah brother

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 23:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 309

You deserved it 8 336

Next

Top comments

Catdragon 40

Sunday 2 October 2016 11:01

Congratulations, you've raised a dumbass.

BloodyMary666 24

Saturday 17 September 2016 19:33

What the hell was he writing about?

Comments

readingrachel 9

Monday 3 October 2016 0:34

Yo hamlet was on fleek #harambe

iLoveCars 18

Monday 3 October 2016 3:48

That's a stale meme...

GhostFox 33

Monday 3 October 2016 16:45

This just reminds me of the second college English course I took, and about half the essays sounded like- to quote the teacher who is otherwise a sweet if slightly nutty old lady- they were "written by primary school children who ignored the given prompt." That class was cringey to sit through on days where we read out essays.

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The Top

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 411

You deserved it 2 826

Today, my fat brother has nothing wrong with him. His blood pressure, cholesterol, and absolutely everything are perfectly normal, despite him being 10 stone overweight. I'm 12 stone and exercise regularly, yet I have 4 separate serious medical conditions, one of which might one day kill me. FML

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You deserved it 193

The Top

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 899

You deserved it 249

Today, it's not bad enough that I'm fighting stage 4 colorectal cancer, and that I'm 3 weeks out of colostomy surgery, during the night, it came unhooked from my body in my sleep. I woke up to the smell of shit, and I was covered in dried shit, glued to my sheets. It made it through 2 'waterproof' mattress protectors, to the expensive foam mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 86

Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 443

You deserved it 28 344

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I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 231

Today, I got told off at work for not saying hello to someone in the corridor.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 143

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 45 444