By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 358
You deserved it 2 416
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Top comments

TheDrifter 23

Call him grampa and cuddle in his lap. I'll bet he has a present for you.

85 6
yamatelle 19

What you also didn't know is that he's got binoculars, a box of tissues, and vaseline right next to his window. I would invest in some blinds if I were you.

59 2

Comments

perdix 29

Go with it and get him to write you into his will. Tell him how fantastic the sex you two just had was. He'll think he just forgot it, but he'll be so proud that he's banging the shit out of you.

23 1
ohxdamnxkay02 12

that's sooo hot. He can be your sugar daddy (;

1 2
MrSassypants 32

OP, you're the choosen one. Consider yourself lucky. I was chosen once before but it wasn't a stud muffin like and 80 year old man. It was some Big Bootied Bitch named Fromana.

3 1
Egnar 19

Does he actually consider you his girlfriend or was it a crazy old man making a joke at the fact that he wishes he were younger? I've seen it before I'm willing to met he's just an innocent old man being polite and trying to pick up your self-esteem by saying you're worth going out with.

0 1
perdix 29

Two words: Petrified wood ;)

4 1
someoneO_O 4

Why does Herbert from Family Guy come to mind???

2 0