By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 357
You deserved it 2 416
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

TheDrifter 23

Call him grampa and cuddle in his lap. I'll bet he has a present for you.

85 6
yamatelle 19

What you also didn't know is that he's got binoculars, a box of tissues, and vaseline right next to his window. I would invest in some blinds if I were you.

59 2

Comments

Istalkrexgar2000_fml 0

haha. maybe he'll break up with you for another neighbor soon.

2 7
dj8798 9

don't worry. in 20 years he'll be dead.

9 2
eradonnes 0

u should take him to taco bell and leave him there >:3

8 2
THE_A_TEEN 27

I work at taco bell. Don't take him, I already had a problem with and old man there, dont need another...

4 0
AffrontedFetus 0

I consider you my girlfriend too. Nothing creepy about that is there?

10 0
xlil_miss_emo_x 6

Aww. He's probably lonely... just play along with him op. It might be fun. Lol. I don't think he actually thinks of you as his girlfriend... but then again... maybe.

2 6
SteveTheJanitor 6

Has he lured you into his basement yet with a bag of what seem like lollies but are probably not...

1 2
ikickgingers 15

What do you mean they aren't lollies?!?!!?! Wtf have I been su... Oooooh

11 1
HomeAl0ne 20

I also make my own confectionery. I usually offer a choice of 'gobstoppers' or 'all day suckers'. But my personal favorite is a little bag of vulvas made from different coloured candy. I call it 'clitorish allsorts'.

1 2
lakebitch01 0

I think a harsh break up would be the best way to end the relationship lol.

0 7
felah17 6

Yeah. That would give him a hearth attack! ; )

0 2
mistersheezy 7

And you were worried that no one loved you....

4 1
fthislyfe 22

Life lesson: Never underestimate old people

6 0
CherryBomb511 3

Ahh this happens to me all the time at work. I think all the old men that come in are sweet and innocent until they say or do something that crosses the line into Old Creeper territory. My advice to you OP is to run far, far away.

4 1
rattusrattus 18

I encountered one of those guys whilst lining up to pay at a register. He probably had grandchildren my age.

0 0
Rand_fml 0

Why is it the old people get a bad rap? BTW want some candy lil girl??

1 1