Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on...

By Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 676

You deserved it 949

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Same thing different taste

By kp - 17/10/2011 00:47 - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 885

You deserved it 58 741

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 733

You deserved it 15 965

By obsequiousfannyflapper - 10/02/2013 23:13 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 105

You deserved it 2 988

By Becoming a commuter. - 04/09/2012 17:14 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 918

You deserved it 2 107

By D: - 06/10/2013 17:13 - France - Paris

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 399

You deserved it 3 897

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 622

You deserved it 2 522

By TheRoad42 - 20/08/2013 12:54 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 717

You deserved it 2 731

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 2 827

Queen

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 15:34 - United States

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 728

You deserved it 16 253

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 685

You deserved it 2 811

MDoremis 38

Tuesday 9 August 2016 9:49

Mmm, protein.

sparkledoge 29

Tuesday 9 August 2016 10:05

I didn't know Bear Grylls had a roommate !

Comments

samlovesham1234 9

Wednesday 10 August 2016 0:27

Oh gross! I just threw up in my mouth a little.

heirofhope 38

Wednesday 10 August 2016 3:17

Of all the things my young, inexperienced eyes have ever read, this is completely new and original. That being said, I'm excusing myself to vomit. Be right back.

tomvertigo 17

Wednesday 10 August 2016 4:52

Let me guess: Craigslist?

oxomocchioxo 9

Wednesday 10 August 2016 7:04

Who is your roommate?! They need psychiatric help.

protoskore 27

Wednesday 10 August 2016 8:06

it might be a case of Pica

sae2011 5

Thursday 11 August 2016 21:40

.....but why???

Universe_Kat_47 4

Tuesday 23 August 2016 9:09

sounds like protein candy

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The Top

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 181

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, my mom threatened to hurt me if she finds out i’m not changing my pad in between every single class. My classes are all on opposite sides of the building and nowhere near any bathrooms. I don’t even bleed that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 78

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 126

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my love handles, and said, "Honk, honk!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 424

You deserved it 6 814

Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 246

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 435

You deserved it 9 665

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 087

You deserved it 6 228

Same thing different taste

Queen

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