Intimacy: Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 962

You deserved it 8 442

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Creepy

By battle1 - 17/07/2015 11:00 - United States - Marietta

Spicy

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 597

You deserved it 4 385

By WayTooMuchFacebook - 04/02/2012 05:07 - United States

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 131

You deserved it 33 525

DELETE! DELETE!

By Hunter101 - 12/05/2012 04:24 - United States - Humble

Spicy

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 549

You deserved it 64 736

Wanker!

By EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00

Spicy

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 275 448

You deserved it 88 371

Odd rejection

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said, "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked." Later, I found another note that said, "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 3 892

By Thanks guys - 26/11/2013 05:21 - United States - Richmond

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 036

You deserved it 4 921

By jenpearl - 20/06/2015 01:06 - Australia

Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 015

You deserved it 9 205

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 4 500

By steph - 13/09/2011 21:40 - China

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 976

You deserved it 6 657

Next

Top comments

LlamaFlavoured 24

Saturday 12 November 2011 12:23

Someone's got a stalker...

RecklessJellyBea 7

Saturday 12 November 2011 12:24

Ah, FB. A stalker's library.

Comments

Horcruxer 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 2:21

Oh at least you're attractive! Uh not necessarily

KallyKal 9

Sunday 13 November 2011 3:22

At least you didn't find it INSIDE your room!

iammenotyoi 4

Sunday 13 November 2011 3:47

At least they find you attractive!

ashleywilson 8

Sunday 13 November 2011 3:48

Thats frickin hilarious!!!

julia_lynn 21

Sunday 13 November 2011 4:03

Yikes, that is super creepy, OP. Like others suggested, make sure all your photos on facebook are private/can only be seen by your friends.

pebbles313 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 4:25

Totally gross.....

gracielacie 0

Sunday 13 November 2011 4:51

thats just weird

Poetaster 10

Sunday 13 November 2011 5:01

Like! A baws.

omgitsmeaja 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 5:01

Creeeeepyyyyy

WeAreScrewed 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 6:46

I ********** to pictures of girls I am very good friends with on Facebook and I'm proud.

Donniehw 5

Sunday 13 November 2011 8:41

Do they know?!? If so you have amazing friends... If not... That's kinda creepy bro... And if your a chick... That's kinda hot.... If your a hot chick that is...

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 91

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 862

You deserved it 13 050

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 139

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 623

You deserved it 8 828

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 3 114

Today, and everyday for the past year and a half, I've felt miserable. I took the decision to leave, not knowing that it would be hell. Now I'm stuck thinking it's good for my future, and too scared to leave. I hate it and hate everything and everyone in this place. I want to leave and I need the courage. The future terrifies me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 187

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 353

You deserved it 3 354