Health: Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can... - FML

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 465

You deserved it 1 283

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Same thing different taste

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 19 992

It's the thought that counts

By Cracky - 27/11/2012 14:32 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 553

You deserved it 2 007

By teflon_hammer - 25/05/2016 23:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 907

You deserved it 1 202

By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 214

You deserved it 3 252

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 58 264

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 5 980

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 722

You deserved it 6 055

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 3 363

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 103

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 779

You deserved it 21 616

Next

Top comments

Higamalia 19

Tuesday 10 May 2016 15:53

I reeeeally hope you landed on it sideways and not when it was standing straight up. That could have ended much, much worse...talk about a close shave :p

Waschlappen 23

Tuesday 10 May 2016 16:18

So it is actually possible to just fall onto random objects with your anus. I need to give all the people going to the ER with stuff up their rectum the benefit of a doubt now..

Comments

RA91 26

Wednesday 11 May 2016 5:54

Clicked YDI by mistake! That sounds painful!

manuwish 9

Wednesday 11 May 2016 7:36

you spared us all the gory details..did it bleed? how big is the wound? does it go over your anus? did the shaving cream can split open from your weight when you fell on it(assuming that is the right verb and we are talking about an external wound)?

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 11 May 2016 14:03

My question is why the hell there is a can of shaving cream on the floor of your shower?

freddygasman 18

Wednesday 11 May 2016 22:14

did you go to the doctor and tell him that you broke your butt and show him the big crack in it?

ClitasaurusRex 3

Thursday 12 May 2016 2:18

At least it didn't go UP your ass.

smartjingle 11

Thursday 12 May 2016 22:18

Nice try Erin, we see lots of people with foreign objects up their butts in the ER who tell us similar stories but we *know* why you/they have an object in the ass.

momac86 17

Friday 13 May 2016 11:43

Made an ass out of yourself now you'll be the butt of everyone's jokes

renrioku 15

Saturday 14 May 2016 8:17

Dont let the shaving cream hit you where the good lord split you... oh wait...

succafucus 2

Sunday 15 May 2016 9:43

That's what they all say when the Dr. asks how exactly that happened...

Harley Osborne 8

Tuesday 10 April 2018 5:42

I just clenched in sympathy.

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