Intimacy: Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 6 586

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Same thing different taste

MY EYES

By bleach bleach bleach - 22/12/2013 17:22 - United States - Las Vegas

Spicy

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 824

You deserved it 7 742

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Spicy

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 110

You deserved it 3 788

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 845

You deserved it 4 744

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 666

You deserved it 9 353

By cameltoeyourface - 26/07/2010 00:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 931

You deserved it 10 391

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 15:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Spicy

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 196

You deserved it 422

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 3 044

Pragmatic

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 14:05 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 4 942

Wait for me!

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Marshfield

Spicy

Today, my husband has recently discovered prostate play. He is now using my sextoys to pleasure himself and not telling me until after. He doesn't see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 101

By LondonKitsch - 26/06/2009 16:51 - United States

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 29 760

Next

Top comments

saintsrocksocks 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:01

Well somebody has to do it if you won't.

ChefPhilly 13

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:03

Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...

Comments

AzzyShurae 3

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:08

Men FTW ;D

CanCann 16

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:20

Men lol

ohcheriecherie 20

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:21

Why not?

jaredofmo 22

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:22

That's one way to avoid HPV...

jayfreeman80 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:24

Better he do it himself than someone else do it for him!!!

captainburke 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:29

Whoa that's weird

jpqm32 3

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:29

Is that even possable?

brianjman14 22

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:39

Meh, I've gotten close, so yeah, it's possible.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 1 August 2012 22:21

No. But it is possible.

neander 8

Friday 3 August 2012 15:10

Absolutely!

hunters48 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:36

Genius.

onlychildFTW 33

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:37

Well it would be considered masturbation because you're pleasuring yourself. I don't know if I would want to do it but I don't candider it anything other then self pleasuring.

bostongurl85 7

Wednesday 1 August 2012 21:39

Wow that takes talent

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 761

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 001

The Top

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 335

You deserved it 2 380

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 58

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 2 525

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 331

Today, I put solar lights in my yard to finally figure out what my dog has been chasing over the fence at night. It's rats. She's been chasing rats that have invaded my backyard every night for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 125

Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 581

You deserved it 553