Kids: Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered...

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 717

You deserved it 4 373

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 171

You deserved it 10 066

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 1 810

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 13 803

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 431

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 246

You deserved it 8 266

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 069

You deserved it 6 090

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 361

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 117

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 439

You deserved it 2 983

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By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 805

You deserved it 2 550

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:01

well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 March 2011 19:42

That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.

Comments

undumblonde 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 5:54

So am I :) I'm called elf, lil gibblet, tink, lil lady, shorty mcmuffin pants, and lil baby feet XD

smalltownboy54 0

Monday 31 October 2011 4:22

I'm 6"1 and I'm 13

okieraider71 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 15:35

The perfect woman: 4'10" tall, a full a-cup bra size (or a small b-cup), small waist size snd a deep love for bondage.

xXMiniXx 0

Saturday 4 February 2012 4:32

You represent the lolipop guild!!! Lol dwai my mom is considered one too and I'm not much taller =P

3rdbass 9

Thursday 24 May 2012 0:55

This is all Eric Cartman's fault.

Oliver_Canterbry 10

Tuesday 1 April 2014 4:23

Ah, I stopped growing at 4.10". Legal midget hight is anything below 4.11" (or so I've heard) and I'm only getting shorter. But, being short is pretty fun sometimes. XD

WildJubeJube 16

Wednesday 4 June 2014 19:44

That kinda would've been an honour to me if ya think bout it.

zovjraar 6

Wednesday 19 July 2017 18:31

I'm 4'11, which would be legally a dwarf if I was a guy. I feel ya, OP!

wrenavery90 12

Tuesday 31 May 2022 6:20

So you didn't discover you were a midget until just now? How is that even possible.

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Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 340

The Top

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 253

You deserved it 59 179

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is trying to get her ex-boyfriend to move up here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 73

Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 388

You deserved it 1 039

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 765

You deserved it 11 469

Today, I had an interview for a new position in my company. The head of HR decided to sit and I got so nervous that I just spouted gibberish for 45 minutes. Pretty sure I convinced her I’m not qualified for the position I’m currently in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 574

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 493

You deserved it 4 252

Same thing different taste

Short King

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