Kids: Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered... - FML

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 717

You deserved it 4 373

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 171

You deserved it 10 066

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 1 810

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 13 803

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 431

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 246

You deserved it 8 266

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 069

You deserved it 6 090

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 361

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 117

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 439

You deserved it 2 983

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 805

You deserved it 2 550

Next

Top comments

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:01

well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 March 2011 19:42

That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.

Comments

autumn88_fml_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:49

Hey OP don't feel too bad, there are plenty of short people in the world, I mean I'm only four inches taller than you lol.

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:17

You can tell you're 13 from your picture.

abush8 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:34

get that handicap sticker! better parking

dansco 24

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:46

Don't worry I'm sure you will grow taller when you're older! ;) Why not endulge your kid and go to school?

Decodedman 1

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:17

I notice a distinct lack of women chiming in with how cool they are with MEN being short too. Cuz women aren't shallow or anything. So i've been told. :/

besosforme 26

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:05

@82- We women do tend to be shallow (not all of us!), but fortunately many find short guys the perfect size! Shorter girls can reach them easier to plant a smooch, too =] I knew a guy that was 5'4 and let me tell you, I have been hard-pressed to find a more friendly, masculine, yet chivalrous gentleman. He was never wont for a girlfriend, either. He was single when he wanted but he definitely had options. It's all about the attitude, and the manner!

megatherium 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:54

Probably because this FML isn't about short men. If it were relevant, I might have previously brought up the fact that my boyfriend is barely taller than I am, and I'm under five feet. It works. I actually prefer short guys :)

hypn0 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:22

is your name snooki?

AznsGoesRawr 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:47

That's not really bad. Where I'm from, majority of the population is short or is shorter than me and I'm 4"8. My 6"0 boyfriend doesn't mind either(:

wehn92 10

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:53

its okay I'm 4'11 and my bf calls me a midget all the time lol fun sized all day :)

supahnazi 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:20

im short too.

blondebrunette11 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:42

haha, I'm 13 and I won't let my parents step foot in my school!! tehe

2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Fight Kids Love Students Work Relatable Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Teenagers Friends Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 66

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 091

You deserved it 5 723

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 3 236

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 4 322

Today, I went out in public for the first time in four months since I was mugged and stabbed. Today, I also found out the guy who did it was out on bail. I discovered this walking across the road from the shopping centre where it happened, and he was crossing the road towards me, smiling the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 99

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 298

You deserved it 4 077

Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 676

You deserved it 3 394