Kids: Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered...

By fourfootnine - 07/03/2011 13:47 - United States

Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 717

You deserved it 4 373

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 171

You deserved it 10 066

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 1 810

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 768

You deserved it 13 803

By frenchy - 06/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 125

You deserved it 55 431

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 16:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 246

You deserved it 8 266

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 22:15 - United States - Waynesboro

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 069

You deserved it 6 090

By anamanaguchi - 31/03/2018 01:30

Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 361

Short King

By Anonymous - 26/01/2022 08:01

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 117

By lemonchips - 12/10/2015 21:28 - Norway

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 439

You deserved it 2 983

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 805

You deserved it 2 550

H3adFonHyStRiA 0

Monday 7 March 2011 19:01

well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.

DocBastard 38

Monday 7 March 2011 19:42

That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.

Comments

CommonSenseKarma 17

Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:14

I'm 17. In case any of you really cared. What were we talking about again?

thevirusuhope4 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:00

you know your short whennnn...

deeeders 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:15

You can get money from the government if you are legally a 'midget'!

kat376 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:27

you can get money from the gov't then. so congrats.

Jessephine 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:38

truth hurtz..

kcnutt10 1

Tuesday 8 March 2011 7:40

Sorry about my previous comment. I accidentally hit 'send'. But 62: We know you're 13! You've already mentioned it under 6's comment! Why do you repeat yourself so much? this is the second FML, that I've seen, that you've said the same thing twice.

1234USMC 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 9:55

man that's dope I lov short girls I wanna marry all of em

sk3l370n 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 11:14

ever mugged any1?

MRSladyFACE 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 22:34

My comments are all over the place here. I was replying to someone earlier in the thread and it messed it all up.

MRSladyFACE 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 22:34

And a name on here is nothing to take as a fact. I could make my name QueenofFrance if I wanted.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 91

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 932

You deserved it 46 009

The Top

Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 325

You deserved it 1 753

Today, we gave my in-laws-to-be our wedding invitations. Their first reaction was to assume we needed money and told us they couldn't help pay for the wedding. Their second move was to book hair and make-up for themselves. Congratulations? FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 112

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 3 651

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 405

You deserved it 6 887

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 521

You deserved it 79 351

Today, I failed an assignment because the person I paid to do it plagiarized the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 3 195

Same thing different taste

Short King

Check this out!

Top comments

Comments