Animals: Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming...

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 311

You deserved it 15 375

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 7 553

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 84 182

By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 554

By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 31 803

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 543

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 995

You deserved it 11 753

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 605

You deserved it 5 497

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 696

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 978

You deserved it 11 157

yankeesfancg 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

On the first date

kpc2424 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

They say dolphins are the most intelligent mammals...

Comments

buckdharma 36

Friday 23 August 2013 5:03

Slip a human the tongue? EEEEEEEEEEEWWW!

leeyaro 13

Friday 23 August 2013 5:09

There are records of dolphins raping humans.

King_paradox 22

Friday 23 August 2013 5:09

Deepthroating with the dolphins (Check) One last thing off your Bucket list

FishWaffle 2

Friday 23 August 2013 5:17

I've heard dolphins are the only other mammals that have sex for pleasure...

love_me_electric 20

Friday 23 August 2013 5:27

Bonobos (and possibly other apes) do as well. Bonobos also have the highest level of bisexuality in the animal kingdom. The more you know...

neeni88 23

Friday 23 August 2013 10:35

I freaking love bonobos and their philosophy of "make love, not war." We should all strive to be like the bonobos.

nina21194 12

Friday 23 August 2013 5:20

Dolphins rape humans -.-

MistsMoon 15

Friday 23 August 2013 5:23

Aww :) Just wanted to give you a little kiss :)

TheCaramelKing 11

Friday 23 August 2013 5:24

Fun fact, dolphin have been known to rape people.

scampman 5

Friday 23 August 2013 5:35

I frenched a dolphin and I liked it

Cujo3269 9

Friday 23 August 2013 5:36

Lmao, now that's funny

FrankHotpants 31

Friday 23 August 2013 5:39

I bet it did it on porpoise.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 23 August 2013 5:51

"It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year. I was driving in downtown atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray."