Animals: Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming...

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 311

You deserved it 15 375

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 801

You deserved it 7 553

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 090

You deserved it 84 182

By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 554

By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 933

You deserved it 31 803

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 092

You deserved it 6 543

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 995

You deserved it 11 753

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 604

You deserved it 5 497

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 299

You deserved it 55 362

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 696

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 978

You deserved it 11 157

yankeesfancg 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

On the first date

kpc2424 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

They say dolphins are the most intelligent mammals...

Comments

thatnucca 36

Friday 23 August 2013 3:36

Consider yourself Frenched...

xALEXx_fml 15

Friday 23 August 2013 3:38

Fish breath- yum....

greggly123 6

Friday 23 August 2013 3:40

So did you have to pay extra then?!

Enslaved 36

Friday 23 August 2013 3:46

She just wants your extra time and your K-K-K-Kiss!

perdix 29

Friday 23 August 2013 3:50

Why would you kiss a dolphin on the mouth? What do you think the blowhole is for?

NatalieOntheTram 11

Friday 23 August 2013 4:11

To make mermaid babies. Obviously.

NatalieOntheTram 11

Friday 23 August 2013 4:00

Consider yourself lucky, OP. That dolphin could have violated you a lot worse. Dolphins have been known to rape people, you know.

rockyannie 11

Friday 23 August 2013 4:01

so how was the fresh tuna?

an3ph 20

Friday 23 August 2013 4:05

STILL a better love story than Twilight.

bhou56 7

Friday 23 August 2013 4:19

Well, you got more than you bargained for.

daniellekimberly 23

Friday 23 August 2013 4:23

Yeah…apparently dolphins are known for that sorta thing

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I agree, your life sucks 42 907

You deserved it 3 383

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

Sick moves, bro

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