Intimacy: Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well....

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 43 139

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Same thing different taste

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 400

You deserved it 46 690

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 700

You deserved it 68 919

By Char-azard - 17/05/2016 09:03 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 325

You deserved it 1 753

Class dismissed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 08:01

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

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You deserved it 1 144

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

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Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 796

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Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 775

You deserved it 32 319

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 600

You deserved it 14 980

By PizzaNIF - 13/07/2016 17:58 - United States - Henderson

Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 823

You deserved it 1 330

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 620

You deserved it 5 694

xxbvbsusanxx 21

Thursday 28 August 2014 5:20

You really gotta watch it with those things..Try using just one..

yung_dubbs 9

Thursday 28 August 2014 5:21

Yeah I was just about to say... That's why you only wear one while doing that man. That's just stupid lol that's jack off 101

Comments

mosquito19 14

Friday 29 August 2014 3:22

why don't you jerk off in the shower like a normal person.

MegroKitty 8

Friday 29 August 2014 4:42

that's why you always leave one ear open just in case...

AnFrickenTwan 19

Friday 29 August 2014 4:42

I always make sure I'd be able to hear someone coming from a mile away haha

zoso008 7

Friday 29 August 2014 4:51

Rookie mistake

SausageWaffles 4

Friday 29 August 2014 4:55

ydi thats a noob mistake, always keep one ear free

Kennuckle_fml 6

Friday 29 August 2014 7:11

lock your door you smelly.

satanicCMD 4

Friday 29 August 2014 7:38

same here lol

_purepxrcelain_ 6

Friday 29 August 2014 9:17

pretty good headphones , but maybe a little too good .

reaxion 25

Friday 29 August 2014 10:20

Nothing worse than an unexpected tap on your shoulder during the vinegar strokes!

storyteller_9 0

Friday 29 August 2014 13:48

What headphones are these?! I'd like to buy them!

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