By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Zebidee 8

I'll post this up here, because everyone gets a chance to read it that way (and it also answers #1's question). 'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes. Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product. There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives. Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?

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Honesty4U 0

Here in the Southern USA we just call them dish rags and countertops.

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Comments

naynay104 0

turpentine....its australian slang for alcohol because some people do in fact drinks turpentine, as in 'he's getting on the turps tonight' would just mean he's drinking. And i'm assuming op is probably australian, its common enough shortening of the word here. I always refer to it as turps.

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Babblez 0

No. They don't. They really don't. Australia is SO not that god damn different from America. We really aren't a completely different world just because we're in the Southern Hemisphere. Drinking turpentine is no more socially acceptable down here than it is up there. The only people that ever drink it are like homeless alcoholics who can't get their hands on a goon bag or something. And even that isn't really a common practice these days >.>

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naynay104 0

also....no idea why anyone would have a teatowel soaked in turps on their bench - that shit stinks, you'd smell it a mile away.

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naynay104 0

and im pretty sure op meant actual turpentine, we don't say turps all the time for alcohol, usually grog or piss if we are going to use slang - if it was rum or something op would have just said that. Plus i would only use turps in regards to alcohol if it was someone drinking some hard stuff like goon or something.

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cptmorgan15 2

So if I understand this correctly, you say you're drinking piss instead of drinking beer? I may be alone on this one, but I don't like the sound of that.

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kitika 2

actually drinking piss doesn't sound good at all. now drinking some vodka does. oh and turps still doesn't sound good either. no matter how you look at it.

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titenite88 0

Two camels in a tiny car!!

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bella789 8

I've heard that before bit I can't remember where..

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Zebidee 8

It's what Australians use to dry themselves off after they've bathed in cold tea.

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rockell 0

that's pretty gross

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heathersmorin 0

Call me an idiot but I don't understand this FML at all. Explain please??

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Enummoc 10

i'm pretty sure op meant the fabric at the bottom of pants that rips off after being stepped in and worn for a long period of time. hence, they would be wiping their face with everything those pants dragged through.

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