By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Zebidee 8

I'll post this up here, because everyone gets a chance to read it that way (and it also answers #1's question). 'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes. Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product. There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives. Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?

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Honesty4U 0

Here in the Southern USA we just call them dish rags and countertops.

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Comments

tim374 26

Turps is short for turpentine. A tea towel is common in any kitchen, it's usually rectangular and is used to dry up dishes after they have been washed.

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4evermossin 0

I misread this at first and thought it said turds

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fthku 13

OP, I can't blame you. You said bench, so I'm guessing you were outside your home. Well, who wouldn't take a towel that doesn't belong to them, and is outside, and use it to wipe their face. That's not disgusting at all, either.

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Babblez 0

How on earth does bench imply being outside of the home? It could mean the kitchen bench or even the work bench in the shed. If it was the work bench in the shed it'd be stupid to use, but there's no way you'd think a tea towel on a kitchen bench would be loaded with turps. Still should've been able to smell it from a mile away >.>

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fthku 13

Forgive me for not knowing a bench could mean that. I wasn't aware of a "kitchen bench" and I had thought it could only mean one thing.

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naynay104 0

it could have been kitchen bench ... Thats what we call counters. Jeez who would have thought we were so hard to understand? :) and yes we do call alcohol piss....i don't know why, i dont do it too often myself but its pretty common

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fthku 13

If it was her home, she's just as stupid. Shouldn't she know better? Piss eh? Does that mean when you drink a lot of piss, you get shitfaced? That doesn't make any sense.

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NBS93 0

Never mind the confusion over turps, what is a tea towel?

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naynay104 0

yeah, you get shitfaced. Or pissed. Or wasted, maggoted, paro. We have a lot of alcoholic terms.

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foreveryours8159 0

dang...that reall sucks

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dansco 24

You lost the sense of smell? Sure turps is quite strong! Now just wash your face in paint and you will be fine ;)

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varkey 7

that's actually kind of hazardous... hopefully you didn't ingest any (like if you got a bit in your mouth)

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Zombie65 0

Transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) for benign prostatic hyperplasia During transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP), an instrument is inserted up the urethra to remove the section of the prostate that is blocking urine flow. TURP usually requires hospitalization and is done using a general or spinal anesthetic. ??????????

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