Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My...

By squirts - 27/11/2013 04:42

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 209

You deserved it 5 323

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Same thing different taste

By sick of this shit - 12/03/2016 13:33 - United States - West Grove

Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 945

You deserved it 1 748

By seb21 - 09/02/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 515

You deserved it 2 316

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 3 831

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 884

You deserved it 6 522

Pleasant

By daddydaughterWTF - 02/08/2012 00:06 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 587

You deserved it 2 637

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 220

You deserved it 5 804

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 533

You deserved it 4 641

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 14:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 072

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 677

olpally 32

Wednesday 27 November 2013 8:35

Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.

woainishamu 21

Wednesday 27 November 2013 8:35

That's just how he shows his love warmly.

Comments

ixfaithxi 3

Wednesday 27 November 2013 18:52

There is people out there dying of hunger. Just be glad you are at home.

jh921971 10

Wednesday 27 November 2013 19:08

Your dad seems awesome

villain1987 1

Wednesday 27 November 2013 19:26

Who cares?

thesnake8 1

Wednesday 27 November 2013 20:32

cry baby

desertlovebird 11

Wednesday 27 November 2013 22:06

Some dads just have their way of saying hi, glad your home ;). Sorry OP

tiger5248 3

Wednesday 27 November 2013 22:35

Anyone else impressed about the timing issue involved with a loud fart? I'm impressed by OP's fathers ability to let em fly on demand!

plot41 2

Thursday 28 November 2013 10:33

aww son why did you tell everyone?

haase182 3

Thursday 28 November 2013 14:44

I don't want to label this as "your life sucks" or " you deserved it" just as "SO WHAT, why did you bother posting this"

AprylAnn 23

Friday 29 November 2013 10:37

What a warm wonderful welcome. Smh

143amandaott 10

Sunday 1 December 2013 6:21

That's so funny! I could see my dad doing that! #lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 034

You deserved it 42 438

Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 049

You deserved it 58 087

The Top

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 729

You deserved it 4 136

Today, my mom told an entire room full of people about the time I almost died from severe diarrhea as a toddler. When I told her that it was embarrassing, she simply told me to “grow up”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 243

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 664

You deserved it 4 251

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 35 282

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 180

You deserved it 8 985

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 49

Same thing different taste

Pleasant

Believe her next time

Convoluted

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