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I've never had the displeasure of inhaling neither smoke nor dick, no, but I heard that having other oral habits helps sate the nicotine craving.

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I never said they were bad, now did I? I just meant that in trying to take away one addiction you are getting another, you know, as a joke. Though I do agree with 43, all addictions are, to some extent, bad.

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It's the side effects of sex addiction that's bad. Ask Tiger Woods about the dent on the back sides of his head or the fact that he lost half his net worth.

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Psh.. Tiger Woods is not a sex addict. Don't you remember that South Park episode? People play around with the word addiction a lot, it just means they have no will power. Anyone can get addicted to something, but the ones who turn into fiends have absolutely no inner strength. I for one, have no pity for those people either.

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Maybe they're symbolic and he's giving up smoking? Just didn't get a chance to explain his present before he had to flee for his life?

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Oh yes, that makes a lot of bloody sense: "I'm gonna give up smoking. In order to do that, I'll have to gift my wife another pack of cigarettes for our anniversary" And have you ever considered the possibility him simply forgetting to buy an actual present and just ending up giving her his pack of cigarettes to avoid the embarrassment of not having a gift?

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Make sure not to let him have the cigarettes, give them to another friend of yours who smokes but isn't as rude and selfish as him!

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Tampons are not for girls, they're for boys' bloody noses; he would find them extremely useful seeing as what he deserves is a good ol' punch in the face.

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Just say, "Thanks - how did you know?" Then proceed to take them, dump em, and enjoy his confusion.

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