Geek: Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If... - FML

By nomorexbox - 26/04/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 054

You deserved it 13 446

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 1 610

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 252

You deserved it 4 818

By ButItWasRareDad! - 03/08/2016 22:21 - United States - Chicago

Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 550

You deserved it 2 132

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:22 - Canada - Langley

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 413

You deserved it 15 159

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:52 - United States

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 691

You deserved it 38 576

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 313

You deserved it 4 290

Teenagers these days

By prostitott - 04/05/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 508

You deserved it 15 381

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 793

You deserved it 5 334

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 00:50 - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 214

You deserved it 7 582

By Anonymous - 09/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 7 366

Next

Top comments

docscientist 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:15

The influence of things on stupid people.

Cmliedtke 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:03

just about every teenager I know has been playing M games since they were like 10... I guarantee you 85% of all Call of Duty players are below 18..-_-

Comments

xPOPTARTx 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:12

ha

SnailJamsss 6

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:12

You're a dumb mother. ha.

bzett 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:13

I bet he does good in school!

littledrummerboy_fml 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:16

your fault for lettin him play

CitrusGirl 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:18

It all depends on your looks. I'm 18, but I'be been told I look like i'm 14. I always get carded for everything.

Tkao96 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:20

123. is that because you're a prostitute? or because you just have your masturbation toys laying around in random places?

every1luvsvag 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:21

I like to drink right before going to a funpark. It makes the go-carts way more fun...

Kyze_Ninja 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:23

It's actually safer to drive drunk than it is to drive tired. Mythbusters Approved!

every1luvsvag 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:31

Allow me to correct the original post. "Is he also out beating hookers?"

chickenfriedCG 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:34

193 while it would allow him to learn his lesson, drunk driving Is extremely dangerous and could result in death to him or others so that is a terrible idea.

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The Top

Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 330

Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 696

The Top

Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 355

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 687

You deserved it 5 608

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 5 396

Today, my wife and I had our first night without kids in 15 years, at a friend's wedding. In the middle of a song, while we were dancing, she left me to go dance with her new "gay best friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 146

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 673

You deserved it 2 839

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 13 809