Geek: Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If... - FML

By nomorexbox - 26/04/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 054

You deserved it 13 446

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 1 610

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 252

You deserved it 4 818

By ButItWasRareDad! - 03/08/2016 22:21 - United States - Chicago

Today, my 15-year-old son was waiting in the car for me after driving around to build up hours for his permit. He then decided it was a good idea to quickly drive over to catch a Pokemon nearby. He didn't count on getting pulled over for texting and driving while underage without an adult though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 550

You deserved it 2 132

By Anonymous - 09/08/2013 14:22 - Canada - Langley

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 413

You deserved it 15 159

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 22:52 - United States

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 691

You deserved it 38 576

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 313

You deserved it 4 290

Teenagers these days

By prostitott - 04/05/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 508

You deserved it 15 381

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 793

You deserved it 5 334

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 00:50 - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 214

You deserved it 7 582

By Anonymous - 09/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 7 366

Next

Top comments

docscientist 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:15

The influence of things on stupid people.

Cmliedtke 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 1:03

just about every teenager I know has been playing M games since they were like 10... I guarantee you 85% of all Call of Duty players are below 18..-_-

Comments

Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:51

Your son is my new hero.

christian50 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:52

Nothing like porking a hooker then shooting her afterwards to get your money back. That's how society should be.

zman1422 3

Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:52

well if I get hit by a drunk fourteen year old who says he was able to drive drunk in gta then I'll know who to call.

every1luvsvag 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 3:57

Wait, since when is drunk driving bad?

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:02

ummm isn't it rated 18+?

theSil 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:04

Well to late to mold that mind, good luck

jupiter80 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:07

137- God only killed the world once asshole, because sin killed the world

codyfaber 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:12

it is actually pretty hard in the game

Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:07

Yeah no kidding. Sudden swerves, cops coming at you, not to mention it takes what seems like FOREVER to sober up in a hot pursuit...

Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 27 April 2011 7:07

Yeah no kidding. Sudden swerves, cops coming at you, not to mention it takes what seems like FOREVER to sober up in a hot pursuit...

Tarak_fml 7

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:12

parenting FAIL

Dugan360 3

Wednesday 27 April 2011 4:14

Holy poop i think i know this kid

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The Top

Today, I found my husband on a dating app and I was gonna kick his ass, until I realised that would mean admitting I’m on the same app, so I deleted mine but now I need to figure out a way of explaining how I know he’s still on it, so I can kick his ass. We have a twisted relationship, I know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 2 420

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 875

You deserved it 23 118

The Top

Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 3 608

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 198

You deserved it 434

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 385

You deserved it 3 065

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 846

You deserved it 9 223

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still available. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 4 810

Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 436

You deserved it 29 084