Kids: Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told...

By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 3 569

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Same thing different taste

By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 711

You deserved it 2 769

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 988

You deserved it 2 514

By campmom - 08/07/2009 05:02

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 405

You deserved it 3 834

Mom won this one

By duuuuude - 17/04/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 985

You deserved it 23 319

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 28 099

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 094

You deserved it 5 183

By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 114

You deserved it 3 059

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 334

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 871

By Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 472

ImTheAlpha 30

Friday 11 October 2013 1:12

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings.

Rainhawk94 27

Friday 11 October 2013 1:23

Quiet you loofah

Comments

jw90 18

Friday 11 October 2013 3:31

I don't know whether to be impressed or outraged.

Kagulocke 13

Friday 11 October 2013 4:50

Why would there be outrage? I could see "indifferent, or impressed".

jw90 18

Friday 11 October 2013 16:55

That the grandparents didn't have a sense of humor.

jrock9093 18

Friday 11 October 2013 3:32

That will be a good laugh in the future! Look at the bright side

j_cat187 19

Friday 11 October 2013 3:33

Anger and horror at the same time? Your parents sound gifted.

skyeyez9 24

Friday 11 October 2013 4:10

I wish I was born an only child. My older brother is a fuckwad.

ladybug_plur 2

Friday 11 October 2013 4:22

lol

Gho5tk3y 17

Friday 11 October 2013 5:18

Haha kids say the darnedest things

Anikimer 4

Friday 11 October 2013 5:20

oh my gawd that's priceless and awesome

nooneherer 5

Friday 11 October 2013 5:45

*applause

LindsayxMoore 18

Friday 11 October 2013 6:30

that is a great story to tell to his friends and future gfs. embarrass him. they will love it! oh and I love the name!!

civicghost 4

Friday 11 October 2013 7:06

just be glad you don't have a young daughter. that definitely could have raised a few eyebrows if a little girl had said that.

Keywords

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The Top

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You deserved it 15 971

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You deserved it 5 932

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 548

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I agree, your life sucks 4 518

You deserved it 367

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I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 885

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I agree, your life sucks 48 530

You deserved it 7 365

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I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 599

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I agree, your life sucks 52 138

You deserved it 6 178

Same thing different taste

Mom won this one

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